For those of you that know my kids, may or may not know that they suffer from a condition brought to Justin's and my attention through the hilarious comedy of Will Ferrell. What I am speaking of people is, Voice Immodulation Disorder. They were having a particularly pronounced bout of it this weekend. So what is Voice Immodualation Disorder, you may ask?I have to tell you I searched the Internet high and low for a clip of the Weekend Update, Mr. Ferrell was on when he did this character. It was not to be found. Sniff. But it is HILARIOUS people! Go rent Will Ferrell's best of SNL and watch it. I did find the transcript where Jacob explains his disease. It really does not do it justice though. You just have to see it, but here it goes anyway. Just imagine a really loud, shout-talking voice and you'll get the idea...
Jacob Silj: LISTEN, COLIN, I HAVE A DISEASE! ... I SUFFER FROM VOICE IMMODULATION! ... I'M UNABLE TO CONTROL THE VOLUME OR INFLECTION OF MY VOICE! ... THIS IS NOT "SHOUTING" -- IT IS TALKING!
Colin Quinn: It's just-- Couldn't you take a deep breath, lower your voice?
Jacob Silj: HOW DARE YOU?! I CANNOT DO THAT! I HAVE AN AFFLICTION THAT IS RECOGNIZED BY THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION AND ITS BRITISH COUNTERPART! EVERY YEAR, AS MANY AS SIX PEOPLE ARE STRICKEN BY THIS HORRIBLE ... HORRIBLE DISEASE! IT COULD STRIKE ANYONE AT ANY TIME -- PROVIDED THEY WERE BORN AT LEAST TWO MONTHS LATE AND HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO GOLD DUST! ...
Colin Quinn: [amused disbelief] Gold dust, Jacob?
Jacob Silj: OH, IT'S FUNNY TO YOU! IMAGINE, IF YOU WILL, COLIN, A LIFE IN WHICH YOU HOLD YOUR BABY DAUGHTER IN YOUR ARMS AND TRY TO EASE HER BACK TO SLEEP! [cradles an imaginary baby in his arms] HUSH HUSH! GO TO SLEEP! DADDY LOVES YOU! ... OR IMAGINE YOU'RE AT CHURCH WHISPERING A SECRET AND SILENT PRAYER TO GOD! [clasps hands in prayer] "OH, PLEASE, DEAR GOD! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?! PLEASE TAKE AWAY THIS TERRIBLE AFFLICTION! AND ALSO LET ME FIND A BAG OF MONEY!" THAT IS MY HELL, COLIN! ... I WOULDN'T WISH IT ON ANYONE! MAYBE ON YOU, COLIN, BUT NO ONE ELSE! ...
Colin Quinn: Hey! Hey, that's mean!
Jacob Silj: I APOLOGIZE! THAT LAST PART WAS ACTUALLY MUTTERED UNDER MY BREATH! ... BUT I CAN'T MUTTER UNDER MY BREATH, CAN I?! ... YOU JERK! THAT WAS UNDER MY BREATH ALSO! YOU ASS!
Colin Quinn: Just stop--
Jacob Silj: UNDER MY BREATH AGAIN!
Colin Quinn: Will you stop, Jacob?
Jacob Silj: I THINK I WILL, COLIN! I THINK I WILL!
Maryn and Brynna are notorious for being habitual loud-talkers. One day when we were driving in the van together and the girls were being especially loud, Justin and I decided to turn the tables a little bit. We started shout-talking lines from the Voice Immodulation skit. The girls were totally baffled. Maryn kept asking "Why are you talking so loud?" to which we replied "HOW DARE YOU! I SUFFER FROM A DISEASE!" I guess you had to be there, but it was hilarious to give them a taste of their own medicine. Thank you Jacob Silj, for giving us a name (and now a really awesome inside joke) for our children's horrible affliction.
11 comments:
SOOOOOO FUNNY! You crack me up. I am so glad to see a post from you. I have missed you in the blog world. OK I have not stopped laughing yet.
That is hilarious. My older sister has the same disease and she is 35. She doesn't have the ability to whisper. Anyways, I am so glad to hear from you, we miss you.
I am so sorry to say that this has been passed down from their Aunt Kristine.... and Cole also has this disease - bad. I was not given the nickname "loud girl" for no reason :-) You go girls - let your voices be heard!
You are so funny! Well, I guess when they are older and decide to speak their minds, at least everyone will be able to hear them... LOUD and CLEAR! LOL!
Glad to have you back! this is one of my favorite skits from SNL too, in fact my co worker and I talk like that all the time.
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!! Me and my co-workers get in trouble all the time for being loud...Maybe this "disease" is hereditery!!!!!!!!!!! So sorry...
Glad to see you back in the blogging world!! You have been missed! Love the loud talkers...my husband would say that I too have this disease! But then again Sydney has it too! Atleast we know we get heard!!
There is nothing better than Will Ferrell! I think all kids must do the loud talking thing. . .Honestly, yesterday I considered putting in ear plugs - I still would have been able to hear them perfectly!
I've been enlightened. It all makes sense. Girls are really noisy. Thanks for making sense of it all. ;o)
When someone is talking loud like that I can't help,but cringe and give them a weird look. I always think of those great musical commercials of the... LOUD CELL PHONE TALKER GUY! It is hilarious to me that people talk that way and see nothing wrong with it and especially kids. Eve tends to do it a lot and we're always telling her to quiet down! But as soon as you do what there doing to prove a point or something, it is simply unacceptable, you are an alien from another planet.
Those babies are sweet soft spoken angels...HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THEY ARE LOUD...NO ONE IN THEIR FAMILY TREE IS EVEN LOUD... FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD...STEP OFF!!!!!
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