Merry Christmas 2012

I remember when I was a kid and a year seemed to stretch on forever. It seems like the older I get the faster and faster they seem to fly by! 2012 was no exception by any means, but as I have the chance to sit back and reflect on the events of the year I can't help but feel blessed. Here is what the Young Crew has been up to...

Justin has kept busy this year with work. He is always trying to learn something new and push himself towards being better in the world of Digital and Social Media Marketing. I love seeing him get excited when he is formulating new ideas for a client or absorbing new research. When he is not plugged in at work, he is really good about plugging in at home. Our girls are so lucky to have such a hands-on Dad who wakes up every morning to make their lunch, attempts ponytails on little heads despite his big hands, survives Preschool carpool and whose eyes get twinkly when his girls say or do something that makes him proud or he finds funny. Justin is a totally good sport who rarely complains about being the lone man in a house full of women. But on occasion, when the estrogen levels are just too much, you will find him at Taco Mac catching a game with his guy friends!

Sarah has felt like this year has been a juggling act, but for many wonderful reasons. She started doing CrossFit about halfway through the year and wakes up at 4:30 in the morning a few days a week to sneak in some "me" time before the demands of the day get going and has enjoyed the challenge. She has also spent the last year serving in the Primary (Children's Organization) Presidency at church and loves the kids and adults she serves with. Sarah works for an Oral Surgeon and has had the opportunity to take on new responsibilities this year. She is working in the Front Office now, in addition to being a Surgical Assistant. She enjoys her work, the people she works with and mostly loves having a schedule that allows her to drop-off and pick-up the older girls from school each day. Her greatest joy though is being mom to four, incredible girls and being married to her best friend.

Maryn is kind of freaking her old Mom and Dad out by how much she is growing up! She has proven to be a big help and has really embraced the big sister role at home. Maryn is in Mrs. McFalls' 4th Grade class at school this year and is a good kid with a good heart who loves to read, draw, and build things. When she grows up she wants to either be a vet or an architect, which doesn't surprise anyone. Maryn had the opportunity to take some horseback riding lessons this year and loved being in the barn helping out however she could. She also loved a Lego Robotics course she took last quarter and was right at home with all the gangly boys in her group! She amazes her Mom and Dad with her ability to sit down at the piano and pick out a tune without any sheet music. She enjoys seeing her friends at 'Activity Day Girls' and with the Volleyball group at church and was just accepted into the gifted program at school. Maryn has her days, like any growing girl, but she is a joy to parent who still says "I love you Mom!!" as she plants kisses her momma's cheek each day as she gets out at carpool.

Brynna is also growing up so fast! We are taking bets on when she will be as tall as her Momma! Brynna is such an affectionate girl who is always game for a nice big squeeze! We love to say "Squeeze me like you mean it!" which is usually when Brynna will try to lift you off the ground with her hug! She gets told often that she is her momma's "Mini-Me" which makes us both smile and wink at each other. Brynna is in Mrs. Bragg's 2nd Grade class where she has been recognized this year not only as an excellent student, but as a leader and positive role model in the classroom. She makes her Mom and Dad's heart squeeze with the good kid that she is. Brynnie loves to draw, read, write love notes to her parents and LOVES playing with friends. When she grows up she thinks it would be so much fun to be an Art teacher. So needless to say, when she found out her new Primary teacher at church was an Art teacher, she thought that was so cool! Brynna also started piano this year and has been enjoying it and also loved getting to take horseback riding lessons. Brynna sometimes feels the injustice of being the younger sibling and is eagerly looking forward to her 8th birthday next year so she can tag along with Maryn to church activities during the week. Brynna has started getting to the age where she gets embarrassed about things, like her crazy parents when they dance in the bathroom getting ready in the morning or when they sing 80's songs in their worst voices. But she can't suppress the smile she tries to hide for too long, she knows being a little crazy is way more fun that being normal!

Lauryn is adamant that she does not want to grow up or get bigger and will not even entertain conversations of what she wants to be when she grows up...which I kind of love about her! Her little legs, that seem to get longer by the day, seem to remind me this train is on a moving track in terms of growing up. So it makes my heart squeeze that she just fully embraces being a kid! Lauryn, or Lulu as she is often called, is in Mrs. Ginny & Mrs. MaryEllen's 4-year-old class at Preschool and loves it! Her favorite part is the crafts, which doesn't surprise her family since she is always drawing, coloring or cutting something at home. She is working hard on learning her alphabet though and loves to ask how to spell things and then will studiously work out her intended message on a piece of paper. Lauryn is a bit of a hambone to those that know her and keeps us all in stitches. Her smile, laugh and facial expressions are priceless! She does tend to clam up and get shy when she feels like all eyes are on her in a group of people she doesn't know. So her Mom and Dad were shocked when she sang right along at the Thanksgiving Program at school this year with hand motions and everything instead of  sucking her thumb and staring at her feet like she did last year! Lauryn and her Daddy are two peas in a pod and it squeezes her Momma's heart to see what good buddies they are. Lauryn and her sissy, Devyn, have really become best friends this year too and it has been so fun seeing them interact with each other.

Devyn may be the baby of the family, but this past year she grew right out of being a baby! She is a big girl, with thoughts, opinions and ideas of her own. She loves playing with Lauryn and it is highly entertaining to see how fully developed her imagination is even at just two-years old. She loves her dollies and playing house, but her favorite toy is a play kitchen where she is often found mixing play food up, arranging it on a plate and insisting you eat it and show her you love every (imaginary) bite! Devyn loves to eat, dance, can be found singing made-up songs to herself and is known for leaving a path of destruction behind her most days. But she is so dang cute it keeps her parents from getting too mad at her! She loves getting to see her best buddies "Yaci Cake" (Laci Kate) and "Yinkin" (Lincoln) a few days a week when Mom and Dad are at work and her sissies are at school. Her momma wasn't so sure about working again, but has been blessed to have her two dear friends, Jaime and Laura, take turns keeping the little girls during the day. Devyn is always so excited to go see some of her favorite people that it gives her Momma peace of mind knowing she is with people who love her to bits!

We love being back in Georgia and often have to pinch ourselves. Justin and I have often commented about how the South has a piece of our hearts and is just home to us. We do all miss being near family very much, but try to soak up the times we do have together. As a family we were able to take some fun trips out to Arizona, Utah, Idaho and Oregon over the summer visiting extended family. We were also so lucky to have Nana & Papa, Grammy & Gramps, Uncle Kevin & Aunt Missy and Uncle Dando come visit us here in the Peach State this year.

As this year has come to a close, I can look back and see it has been a wonderful one. Not because it's been perfect, because it has not been without it's hardships or struggles. It hasn't been without things we don't understand. But it has been filled with an abundance of love from the people around us. I am grateful for this Christmas season and the opportunity to celebrate the birth and life of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am humbled beyond words that in my trials I have a companion in Him, who has a perfect understanding of me and bears me up. I am thankful that I get to feel that the love and kindness I see in the faces and actions of those around me are an extension of my Savior's love for me. I am thankful for the life I have, the peace I feel and the joy I have found. I hope this Christmas Season leaves you all feeling the same way and seeing the bright hope of a New Year on the horizon.

Much Love and Christmas Wishes!

The Young Crew

Justin, Sarah, Maryn, Brynna, Lauryn & Devyn

Reader's Digest Update

Okay, needless to say I have completely fallen off the blogging wagon! I assure you it isn't because I have been laying around eating bon-bons. I told Justin the other night that I used to feel inspired to slow down and write so often, but just couldn't get to it. Lately though it seems like I don't even slow down long enough for it to cross my mind. But life is full of all kinds of happy busyness among the craziness. Raising a family, working, serving, running a house. I have found myself grateful that amidst life's controlled chaos I can always count on knowing I am surrounded by the love of so many. Wish I could elaborate, but I am being summoned to make dinner! We'll continue this catch-up some other time!

Thank You to Mitt

I felt the need today to write a little card to Mitt Romney. Not that my little voice matters. But I can only imagine how hard it would be to campaign and fight and work for something you truly believe in and then one day it is all just over. It has to be so heartbreaking. I just wanted him to know it was for a reason and that he was appreciated. That for me, he made a difference. I wrote...


Dear Gov. Romney,                                                                            November 7, 2012

    Today, amidst the disappointment over yesterday's election, I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude for you. If you ask my family and friends I was always the one to avoid politics. I didn't trust politicians or their motives. But with you I saw a love of your country and it's citizens as your motivation. I saw what a sacrifice it was for you and your family and yet you submitted to the rigors of a campaign because you cared and saw how you could help. 
     
    I just wanted you to know for me, while I really wish you were my president, your campaign was still a success. You made me believe that there are still good people out there whose motivation is to do good, not just gain power. You made me take my role as a citizen of this nation more seriously. You made me appreciate the good in America so much more. I will forever be grateful to you for that. 
     
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring about me, the little guy, enough to uproot your life in the pursuit of trying to give people like me a chance. You and your wonderful wife will clearly do good where ever it is you go or whatever you do. You have my best wishes and prayers on your behalf. Thank you again for making a difference.

                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                Sarah Young

Election Results

    I would be lying if I said I didn't find myself crying in the shower this morning after hearing the results of yesterday's election. The economy has been so hard on our family over the last four years. Justin was laid off from a great job at Yahoo after the economy went bust. We scraped by for 14 months, unable to find a new job, eating from our food storage, living on severance and me working to fill in the gaps. We took a job a single man would have a hard time supporting himself on, much less a family of six and tried to be grateful for it. We have fought hard to hang on to and be responsible for a house that the current market has decimated in value. Then taking the leap of trying to start a new business to better our lives and getting slammed with outrageous small business taxes. It's just so hard because it seems like the harder we work, the harder we try, the more we get beat down. I had hope for something different for this country. But now with four more years of the current state ahead of me, hope seems distant and the thought of looking forward to what we have just been through makes me weary. But I am going to put on my big kid pants, continue to be a fighter and try to hope. For this country and for this president. And at the end of it all know that even if everything else fails me, my God never will.

Thrown Under the Bus

Last night at dinner I told Maryn and Brynna I needed to talk to them about something. During the car ride to school, one of their friends was telling a story. He described how he walked into a room at a recreational facility once and it was "full of nothing but fat nerds." I didn't feel it was my place to censor him, but I made a mental note to talk to the girls later about it. My exact words later that night were "Please do not say anything to your friend about this. I know his heart is good, it was a mistake and it is not your place to tell your friend what to say anyways. But I hope both of you know that I never want you labeling people like that or describing them in such a mean way." I asked them how they would feel if someone took one look at them and labeled them in such a negative way.

I thought it was a good teaching moment...fast forward to this morning. Justin got home from doing the carpool run this morning and said "Maryn threw you under a VERY heavy bus this morning!" I wondered what she could have said about me? Apparently as soon as she had her friend's attention this morning she said "My mom doesn't like the things you say!" Nice. Maybe she forgot the first request before the conversation was not to say anything to her friend. Turkey. Now I look like the bad guy!

Motherhood

I decided just now, sitting waist-high in piles of laundry needing to be folded, that motherhood is good for me. It seems crazy and most days I feel spread so thin...but it has humbled me. For someone who used to have such rigid ideals...every piece of laundry must be ironed before hanging, every bump in a ponytail must be smoothed, no one could see my house dirty or face bare. It was suffocating. Being mother to four daughters, while at times felt like it would break me, has freed me. To just be me. Out of sheer and complete necessity. Because there is no more energy for pretense. And all I have left to give is the purest, most honest form of myself.

Different In All The Right Ways

My daughters' education is really important to me. I have tried to do what I can as a parent to facilitate the importance of learning being imprinted in their young minds. I am no rocket scientist. But over the years I have learned that I am a whole lot smarter, stronger and tenacious than I ever gave myself credit for growing up. I wonder what could have been if I would have believed in myself? What potential I could have tapped? (With that said, I firmly believe it's never too late to turn a new leaf. I don't live in the past.) So when what is coming home from my daughter's school is invitations to test for the gifted program or straight A report cards, I find myself proud of them. Proud of them for taking the wonder of learning seriously. For caring to give their full potential a chance at coming to fruition.

But then I have those moments where my pride is magnified even further, when I realize that my girls are growing not only into good students, but good people. They are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. None of us are. But their cores contain amazing goodness. In them I see people who aren't afraid to march to the beat of their own drum, regardless of what the crowd is doing. I see people who are willing to do the right thing. People who have their priorities, even at this young age, straight.

One night as Justin and I were sitting on the couch, after the girls had gone to bed, we talked about all the ways they were different than other kids their age. Like how Maryn isn't concerned with being popular, she is concerned with being herself and seeking to be a friend to the friendless. She had a tough time last year navigating the social world of school. This year she made the decision all on her own, to go into this year with her head held high. Confident in who she is. It doesn't bother her if girls are dramatic or if her best friends at school are guys. She is comfortable with who she is and what she does.

Brynna wondered out loud one day "Why do people make a big deal out of what you wear? You go to school to learn. It's not a fashion show!" This is the child that fought me on uniforms last year and now loves them. I have had people tell me years ago "Oh wait until they get to those years where all they want is Abercrombie and Justice!" I got sucked into the labels when I was younger and the labels never brought me happiness. I am glad that Brynna is learning that what is important is not what is superficially projected from the outside, but what we are nurturing on the inside. One of her goals this year is to be a STRIVE student. STRIVE is a program at the kids' school that seeks to teach and develop positive character traits. STRIVE students are those chosen out of the student body that exemplify the purpose of the program. I'm glad Brynna knows that it's important to take care of our bodies and our appearance. But what we look like doesn't make us a better person.

One day the girls and I were watching videos about an outreach in India that supports leper colonies in bettering their lives. (Rising Star Outreach) When Maryn was a baby I sponsored one of those sweet kids and yearned to be able to go to India and volunteer. As our family grew and my focus turned to them, that dream grew distant in my mind. So it was really cool, all these years later, sitting there with my daughters watching these videos and seeing the same spark ignited in them. Maryn said it would be good to sponsor one of those kids for Christmas instead of getting a bunch of presents. We talked about how we could develop our talents to help bless the lives of others. We daydreamed of all of us going together someday. That moment made my heart full.

And grateful.

That in a world that tries to pigeon-hole you, define you and tell you who you are supposed to be, I have daughters who are learning to be themselves. To be different in all the right ways.

Mental Health Day

It seems like life has been whizzing by at a break neck speed lately. Justin traveling out of town, me coordinating work between two different offices and getting childcare coordinated and lined up while I do so, kids to shuttle all over the place, field trips to attend, bills to pay, appointments to make, grocery shopping, gym time and on and on and on. My wish for today is to slow down and not commit myself to a single thing for at least 24 hours. (Well besides shuttling to and from a birthday party Brynna already committed to.) It's just been insane and so therefore I am officially clearing my schedule, coming up for air and claiming today my Mental Health Day!

Devy & Lu

I love what good little buddies Devyn and Lauryn are becoming. Lulu just got in trouble for lying to me about eating her lunch and was sent to the corner for time out. Devy, who hadn't done anything wrong, hung her head and followed her sister to the corner. I told her to shoo, that Luey needed to do her time alone. But every time I turned around they were sitting there giggling together. Finally I said "Both of you need to go take a nap." To which they happily complied and scooted up the stairs together. I am not kidding myself. I am quite sure when I go check on them they will not be sleeping. But the fact they were eager to go take a nap, if it meant being together, pulled on my heartstrings.

It's finally here....

I know I have mentioned this on Facebook, but I had the chance to be a small part of a collaborative book on motherhood. The hard copies finally arrived in the mail today. The way the story was edited changed the feel of my piece, in my opinion. I loved my original, which made mention of my gratitude to my Father in Heaven. But the editors wanted the book to feel accessible to people of all belief systems, but who are unified through motherhood. I respected the sentiment, so I consented to some small changes that still left the feeling of my piece intact without overtly referring to Diety. But I did so wish I could have included the source of which my gratitude was directed to. It was such a strong part of the moment I was feeling when I wrote it. More than anything though, being included in this process has given me the courage to not be afraid of someday chasing my dream of writing a book of my very own. It's been a very gratifying experience. One that I am grateful to the editors for letting me be a part of and helping me to see the hope in future dreams.

Conference Thoughts

     I am amazed every six months how it seems like the things that are spoken about in General Conference were intended just for me or for someone I know. I had the opportunity to invite one of my CrossFit coaches, Josh, to come to the church building to watch it with us. It's always amazing how much more appreciative I am of the truths I have and enjoy when looking at it through the eyes of someone seeing it for the first time. It was just a really great and humbling experience.

     When I was younger, I was afraid of opening my mouth and declaring my faith. That I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I had been the object of persecution for my beliefs and being the shy person I was, it scarred me a little bit. But as I have grown in tandem with my testimony that fear has left me and those wounds of persecution have healed. I no longer fear the opinions of man, because my love of the Savior and His gospel is so secure.

     As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stood to speak I turned to Josh and whispered in my most excited reverent voice, "He is one of my favorites!!" When the talk was through, as I wiped tears of wonder, love and gratitude from my cheeks, Josh leaned forward and said "Wow, I can see why he is one of your favorites." Then he added with a chuckle, "And he has great hair too!" Just one of the many things to love about this special apostle of the Lord. He talked about our commitment to our Savior, Jesus Christ, and recounted the story of Christ's visit to Peter on the shore of Galilee after His resurrection. His talk left me with the determination and desire to be able to say when I someday fall at my Savior's feet and if He asks me "Lovest thou me?" like he did to the apostle Peter, I too will be able to respond, "Yea Lord, thou knowest that I love thee." It is my hope that the sincerity of those words will be reflected in the content of my life.

General Conference

 
This weekend is one of my most favorite times of year. If you would like to know what uplifts me, what brings me joy and what strengthens my testimony in Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ, I invite you to watch. For my local friends, broadcasts will be 12:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. EST on both Saturday and Sunday. You can watch from the comfort of your own home, online, by going to www.gc.lds.org. ♥

A Day in the Life

      I started out my morning in the gym doing deadlifts, about fifty million walking lunges, kettlebell swings and  modified walking handstands. I was sore and tired by the time I got home, but immediately had to shower and get Maryn and Brynna to school. Then rush home get Lauryn ready for Picture Day at Preschool, go to the store with Devyn and then run home to catch my breath. Or so I thought. While Lauryn was at school I decided it would be a brilliant idea to surprise her and set up a big girl bed for her, move Devyn from the crib to the toddler bed and take the crib down to give to Maryn's piano teacher who is expecting twins in a couple of months. This meant rearranging all the furniture and lugging everything up two flights of stairs from the basement to the Littles' room. About half way through it my muscles reminded me I had already done all those deadlifts and lunges this morning. Not smart. I asked the Littles to lay down for 20 minutes, so I could sit, uninterrupted, for a rest. They ignored me and tried to break loose and run outside. Apparently they don't care that Momma's been up since 4:30.

     The big girls will be getting home from school soon. Luckily 1st Quarter Robotics is over for the Biggles now, which was their usual Wednesday activity. That means I don't have to drive back down to the school to get them (our school is about 20 minutes away) because my sweet friend Kathleen offered to bring them home after school with her kids. Then it's homework, chores, dinner, jammies for the kids and then I am off to a Presidency Meeting for Primary and may make it home in time to catch the Presidential Debates and kiss my husband. I dare someone to imply mothers sit around and eat bob-bons all day.

Dishes and Insecurity

     Just as I got done determining at 9:30 p.m. I needed to shut it down for the day and head upstairs and get ready for bed, (I am usually an 11:30-12:00 kind of girl and my body hates me when the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. for my workout.) I paused from finishing up dishes to sit down and write. It's now 9:31....people, my best laid plans always fail. But I justify this as journaling and so therefore it is, well, justified. Right?!

     Anyhoot, as I was washing sludge out of bowls, scraping crust out of pans and feeling my fingers began to wrinkle, I wondered. I wondered why today I felt like invisibility would be nice. I wondered how it is that one day I could feel so outgoing and the next subconsciously long for anonymity. To live in my cave, nestled close to the ones who truly know me.

     And then somehow I connected some mental dots.

     Last night I was eating dinner with a group of women before a broadcast I had gone to watch. The conversation was humorous and we were all having a good time. Then the conversation turned, in jest, towards making fun of people who look a certain way. But by a certain way, I don't mean the people who you typically associate with being bullied. No, this was kind of a reverse bullying. The people being referred to were those ladies who otherwise look like they have it all together. Perky boobs, even tans, smooth, wrinkle free skin, perfect hair and nails, you get the idea. One of the ladies was joking about how she wished ill on people like that. That those are the people you want to see fall flat on their face or in her words "fart in public".

     I chuckled uneasily, but inside I groaned. Why do women do this to each other? It is said that even in jest there is truth. So even if it was a comedy routine, you know that person who was saying those things really felt that way. Don't get me wrong, what little I know of this gal, I love her. She is witty, fun, beautiful, talented and has a personality you can't help but be drawn to. So I didn't understand the insecurity she blamed for wishing ill on those Barbie types. Didn't she understand how fabulous she was?

     I couldn't help but think that we all have motivations for whatever our -isms are in life. Maybe the "Barbie types" (if we want to label them as such, but really I am not comfortable with that) do what they do to fulfill a need and that works for them? My main thought just was, why do we label each other? Why do we form opinions of people whose hearts we don't know? Whether you are skinny or plump, crafty or spartan, intelligent or simple, witty or dull, boisterous or quiet, or whatever scheme of opposites you could throw on the spectrum, why do we care? Why do we compare? Why do we look to others to validate how we feel about ourselves?

     But then as this string of thoughts was flowing through my brain I realized, I myself am guilty as charged. Because the whole conversation left me sadly wondering who have I been labeled as? The craving to be a ghost started to sneak in. What conclusions have people drawn about me? It left me feeling naked in the middle of a crowded room. We are all seen everyday of our lives. But there is something gloriously gratifying about being seen. Not for our exteriors, but for our hearts, our minds, our motivations and who we are beyond face value. And yet, as a society and as individuals there is such a draw to write in stone who a person is and what their worth is, based on what only the eye sees.

     And that frankly makes my heart very sad.

     Last week in Primary (the organization for children in my church, where I volunteer), my awesome friend's daughter, Autumn, got up and read from the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado. In it you follow the journey of a little puppet who struggles with other people's views of him too. In the end he discovers that all that really matters is what the woodcarver, his Maker, thinks of him. It's moments like this I find myself so incredibly grateful to have children in my life, both at home and at church. Because they help me see things as clearly as they should be seen. And when life finds a way of streaking the glass of our perception, there are those little hands that help wipe it clear again.

     As I type, I know in my heart, my little light wasn't meant to hide out in a cave, isolated from the world. Even if some days that feels like the safest place to be. I know I just have to continue to work on me and know that my best efforts are good enough for my Maker....and hope other people come to realize the same for themselves. Because while we are all so very different, we are His, and just right in His eyes.

Adventures With Mayo...

Brynna just got done watching me, with both fascination and concern, as I schmeared mayonnaise through my hair. (I strongly dislike mayo...taste, smell, feel...so this is taking one for the team. And by team I mean every strand of hair on my head.) Supposedly mayonnaise is supposed to be really good for your hair. And since I am trying to grow out a little length, but also am in the habit of using the blow dryer and flat iron on my hair most days, my ends have started getting to be a little too dry. And as we know, there is no point in having long hair if it looks like wisps of dry, crunchy hay. (I have a visual in my head right now of the horses we were feeding at the barn on Thursday. Noisily crunching and munching on the handfuls of hay the Littles and I were feeding them while the Biggles were having their riding lessons. Yeah....not so interested in having that adorn my face.) So as a result of dreaming of long, silky, luxurious locks I have resorted to ridiculous behavior, like lathering myself in condiments. If you run in to me later looking like a greaseball or smelling like a macaroni salad, I am placing full blame on Pinterest for this one!

P.S. In case you were wondering, here is a Young Crew vocab lesson for you. "Littles" = Lauryn and Devyn, my younger two. And as you may have guessed "Biggles" = Maryn and Brynna, my older two.

Love This!!

 Click below to see how one woman celebrated her 38th Birthday by performing 38 Random Acts of Kindness!

Random Acts of Kindness Birthday Ideas

This is the coolest idea ever. 

I am so doing it for my next birthday!

Dave Would Be Proud

 

 I don't know if everyone knows who Dave Ramsey is, but he would be proud of me. I just finished pounding out my budget for next month and am determined to stick to it. Cash only, no cards, no excuses. In the past few months it seems like we have had a ton of expenses with our rental house and as of this moment it is sitting empty...I had my freak-out last month. Now I am trying to remain calm and have faith we will find good tenants and that it is going to be okay rather than suck my thumb at the thought of double house payments. Also the girls have been in activities that were awesome, but not cheap. The older girls have been growing which means new clothes and all that too. We have been blessed to have our needs met, but I've decided I can be a much better steward of our family's finances and be more disciplined in tracking our family's spending. As Dave says, I need to make my money work for me and not me work for my money. So here we go...let's just hope I don't get mugged and have all my cash for the month stolen! ;) 

Visiting Teaching

      

    

     One of the things I love about being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the total feeling of family. Since we moved back to Georgia last year one of the things we have missed the most is being near family. I was spoiled for the first 31 years of my life to have family nearby. People who knew me and were easy to lean on. But I have truly gained a better appreciation for the Church as I have watched in others' lives and felt in my own the way members of my church circle their wagons, so to speak, around one another. If there is illness, babies being born, job loss, a move, a death in the family, just having a bad day or whatever it may be, someone is there. And more often than that, many people are there. To love you, support you, physically feed you or spiritually nurture you.

     In our Church we have a women's organization called the Relief Society. This group of women, of which I am a member of, accepts Christ's invitation to love and take care of one another through a program called Visiting Teaching. Each woman is assigned another woman or women, or as we call them Sisters (because we are all God's children and therefore literally spiritual sisters) to accept stewardship over. This includes checking on that individual's needs, offering sincere friendship and also to be a spiritual support to that individual. Admittedly when I was in my twenties, probably because I was in my comfort zone, I didn't catch the full vision on Visiting Teaching myself. I didn't really magnify my calling or sometimes had a bad attitude about it because I hadn't fully gained a testimony of or appreciation for the program. I would do it, but my heart wasn't in it.

     However, when we moved from Georgia to Oregon at the beginning of 2010 I had never felt more like a fish out of familiar water. I was coming out of a very difficult time in my life and also heading into another. I had my parents close by, but I was without a true friendship outside of my family. But then shortly after arriving in Oregon, two women, Heidi and Marci, were assigned to be my Visiting Teachers. I immediately felt at ease with these two women, as Heidi cracked jokes and broke the ice and Marci shared her positive, easygoing outlook. I felt a humble gratitude that Heavenly Father had sent me just what I was needing at that time. We weren't necessarily in each others' back pockets all the time, but I knew without knowing them for very long that I could count on them for anything.

     Heidi seemed to show up without warning on a moment of inspiration that was so in tune with my unvoiced thoughts that it was uncanny. She offered sound advice mixed with humor to lighten whatever was troubling me. Marci too, who had a passel of young boys in tow, would show up with flowers or cookies and a smile that exuded the selfless love she demonstrated to every one she came in contact with. Oregon continued to be a hard time for us, but I can truly say, those women were my bright spot. They never made me feel I was their assignment, but truly became my friends.

     Fast forward to this morning. I found myself sitting on a couch in the living room of a woman I had barely met. We talked, shared experiences and things we had in common. I know it sounds crazy, but by the time I left I felt true, genuine love for this sister. We talked about how it doesn't matter if we grew up in the Church or converted later in life, or if we have been inactive or active, or not even a member of the Church, we are all the same. We are all God's children and He loves us not just collectively, but individually. We talked about how each and every one of us are flawed, but trying each day to do what is right in our own way and in our own time. We talked about how we all travel paths of spirituality or understanding in this life at different paces and how that is okay.

     I have come to understand that we are each given trials in this life, that sometimes seem unexplainable, for a reason. So many times we can't help from asking God "Why me?", "Why now?", or "What do I do?" There are those moments you find yourself being comforted by someone else's experience in the water you are trying so hard to tread, but feel like you are sinking in. The voice that says, I have survived this and so can you. Lean on me. Suddenly you find gratitude for someone else's trial, someone else's experience. And then there are those full-circle moments after you survived and find yourself on spiritually solid ground where you can use your hurt, your trials, your worry or your heartbreak to be that voice of encouragement to others. Because through the love and light of Christ there is relief for us all.

     So often I find myself feeling I am an unworthy servant of my Savior. I get frustrated with my kids. Most days my house looks like a mine field of toys, shoes, dishes and laundry. I procrastinate. I don't read my scriptures as often as I should and a million other things I could improve on. It's easy to beat yourself up. To forget your purpose; the one that was designed specifically for you. It's easy to stand still rather than progress out of fear or self-doubt. It's easy to sell yourself short of being your best you.

     It's times like these where I find myself thankful for the women in my life, those conduits of Christ's love, who have said through their actions; that meal, quote, kind thought, conversation or saved seat that seem to say, take my hand and we can walk this road together. As I consider the blessings of my life, both the one's that felt like blessings and also the one's that felt like a kick in the gut while I was in the midst of them (but are blessings in disguise), I can say without a doubt and despite my many shortcomings, that that is the woman I want to become.

The older girls are at a friend's house and the little girls are upstairs chatting with each other. (They are actually supposed to be sleeping...) Theoretically, I should be being super productive right now with all this quiet time. You know, like cleaning my house or folding laundry or something. There couldn't be anything further from what I want to do at this moment. {sigh} Someone please just take pity on me already and deliver me an Alice.

Makin' Pancakes

 

When we got home last night we discovered that while we were away Nana had sent the girls a fun, new Halloween cookbook. Maryn and Brynna have been taking cooking classes once a week after school and it has helped their cooking confidence and desire to get in the kitchen increase. So this morning they were eager to pick out a recipe and give it a try! Since school is out this week and I didn't have to go to work, we decided to pull out the griddle and let them whip up some ghoulish pancakes!

 They didn't turn out exactly like the picture in the book, but I think they did a pretty good job! We substituted the  recipe in the cookbook with Ma Young's pancake recipe (Ma is the girls' great-grandmother, their Gramps' momma). That was Maryn's call since she felt like cooking with family recipes would be more meaningful.

 The girls have been semi-obsessed with "Cake Boss" lately and the concept of the importance of "la famiglia"! In fact as Lauryn dug into her pancakes she exclaimed "Hey Maryn, these are good! You really are Buddy the Baker!" It was pretty funny!

Oh Savannah....

Justin and I returned home earlier this evening from our impromptu weekend getaway to Savannah.

 If I have said it once I will say it a million times, Savannah is one of my most favorite places on earth.

 

Justin and I were newlyweds when we visited Savannah for the first time.

 

It was as magical then as it is now. 

 I remember sitting in one of the city's many squares on a park bench at dusk, hand in hand, with my husband. 

 It was just the two of us back in those days and we daydreamed of quitting our jobs, selling everything and moving into one of the basement apartments off a quiet square downtown.

This time, thirteen years later, as we strolled down uneven brick streets our daydream was of someday retiring here.

 

Of being in a place where inspiration was around every turn.

 Where stories were limitless and the twilight of ours could be written together.

  Justin and I mused over dinner on a perfect Southern evening about what it would be like to write a book together.

 I daydreamed of learning to paint and even found a beautiful impressionist piece to bring home with us as a reminder of our time together.

 We pictured in our minds the thought of a house, downtown or in the low-lands, to welcome grandkids to someday.

There are many years separating us from that daydream coming to fruition.
 
But I can say that I wouldn't rather have anyone else by my side, in daydreams or otherwise, than Justin Young.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...

...or at least my version of it....

 

While sitting in the middle of an enormous pile of laundry tonight hating every unmatched sock, shirt to be hung and towel to be folded the thought occurred to me....Nudists don't have to do laundry. Freaking geniuses. Weird people who I wouldn't want to share chairs with....but geniuses none the less. Let this be an indication of how flippin' over laundry I am. I am being driven to somehow romanticize life in a nudist colony. Sick.

Packing My Bags....

 

Tomorrow Justin and I are leaving for an impromptu trip,

to one of our most favorite places in the world...

Savannah, Georgia.

I plan on wandering beneath the mossy branches I love so much.

Eating hot hush puppies as I watch the boats come in on River Street.

Holding hands and talking to my husband without interruption.

Strolling the streets of downtown past dark on a spooky ghost tour.

Walking through antique stores looking for treasure. 

Eating fudge I watched being spread over thick slabs of marble.

Sleeping in, shirking time, breathing deeply 

and enjoying this much needed weekend escape.

~A very special thank you to my wonderful friend Kathleen for making it all 

possible by watching all of the kidlets for us!~

Bodies

     Lately I have been writing back and forth with my brother Matt. He has had a drug problem for many years and is finally at a place in his life where he is getting the help he needs and confronting the demons of his past. I know with drug abuse it is a life-long battle. But I am so grateful to be able to interact with him and it be him. Not the drugs posing as him in his body. He was telling me how exercise and meditation have really been helping him. Recently I have discovered the joy of exercising too and am grateful to share that common ground with him. In my most recent letter I wrote...

"....It was good hearing from you again and I’m glad things seem to be going relatively well. I love how you are exercising regularly. I have to say, working out changes my whole outlook for the day. I go in early in the morning a few times a week before the kids wake up to get my exercise in. I can’t tell you how much better I feel when the kids do wake up and I have to hit the ground running! I’ve already had my “me” time and so I find that makes it easier to give the rest of my day to others.

    I kind of had an epiphany at Nana’s funeral. As I sat there looking at her little body, knowing her spirit was no longer there, I felt such a reverence for these vessels that we have been given to carry us through this life. Every day our heart beats, every day our blood pumps, our brain sends signals, muscles move and flex, bones support, eyes see, ears hear. It’s such a miracle. As I looked at the table with pictures of Nana’s life; of her as a baby, a young girl, a young woman, a mother, a Nana…I saw her body had been there with her through her whole journey, supporting her and providing a home to her Spirit the whole while. It’s pretty amazing and gave me a different outlook on our own bodies and how we appreciate them, how we treat them, how we feel about them. It made me get more serious about fitness and giving back to the body that gives to me every day. I am glad that after years of abusing your body you are treating it with respect and taking care of it. Keep up the good work!..."

   I am grateful that every day I wake up my body is there to serve me and to help me serve others. I hope my girls grow up with that same knowledge. It took me a really long time to see my body as a gift rather than an imperfect "thing". I hope my girls recognize the wonder that it is and always strive to take care of the gift they have been given here in mortality. And while I know we all will age and eventually die, I'm grateful that our bodies, including our minds, during our time on this earth have the ability to heal and to renew. I am grateful that my brother has this time to reconnect with the vessel he has neglected for so long. It is my sincerest prayer that he is able to renew his life, his purpose and his body and become the man he was sent to this earth to be.

Bath Buddies

 Lauryn and Devyn being bath buddies!

Monday, Mondays....I started working one or two days a week back at Dr. Taylor's office about a month ago. I started with Dr. Taylor, who is a pediatric dentist who also does orthodontics, when Justin and I first moved to Georgia back in 2000. When Maryn was born in 2003, as much as I loved everyone there, I quit to stay at home with her. Now nine years and three more babies later I am back! It's been a nice, little outlet for me and keeps my brain cells firing. But waking up at 5:00 a.m. and not getting home until about 6:45 p.m. on Mondays makes for a long day.

So I was grateful to be able to come home and give my Littles their bath before bed tonight and watch them play. It's so strange, it doesn't seem like that long ago that it was Maryn and Brynna singing and playing in the tub. Now they can run their long-legged selves to the shower and do their own thing. But my Littles, they still love a good hair-washing from Momma and relished giggling as they saw how ticked off they could get me with their splashing. I am ready to freeze these two. Because if the passage of time with their sisters has taught me anything, it's that these little, squeezable years fly by way too quickly.

Fall Is In The Air

     The air that has hung over Georgia as a result of Hurricane Isaac has been warm and thick. Clouds loomed from horizon to horizon like a playground bully loving to see it's victims squirm and sweat under their oppression. But this morning some force of nature pushed Isaac and his unwelcome presence out and we were greeted with a crisp 58 degree morning with an endless view of blue sky. I cooked up a big pot of oatmeal with apples I picked myself from a North Georgia orchard this week, walnuts, cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar and butter.

     The girls cozied up to their warm bowls of goodness as they exclaimed "Mom! This tastes just like Fall!" They then started in, going back and forth, about their favorite things that were inspired by cooler weather. Pumpkin patches, Halloween, warm wassail laced with cinnamon, orange and cloves. They drooled at the thought of chocolate chip pumpkin bread and eating breakfast wrapped in a blanket. The turning of leaves and the hope that winter would bring snow. All things I love so much myself.

     I've often wondered what it is about Fall that captures my heart. Spring has blooms and new life. Summer, warmth and carefree days. Winter, the anticipation of the holidays and all the wonder that goes with it. But Fall....there is something about it that I love so much. Maybe it's that with the turning of the seasons, as leaves change from who they were, we see that there is beauty in that transformation. And maybe I like the idea that that change can be reflected in our own lives. That time may change us and challenge us, but it doesn't have to diminish us. That our beauty, inside and out, can become more vibrant than ever with each turning season of our life.

Horticultural Dreams

There is something you should know about me...I love a good daydream. Life as a mother of four oftentimes requires most of my head space nowadays. But every once in awhile I find myself slipping into a nice little escape of the mind.

I had the opportunity to go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City earlier in the month as we were passing from Park City, Utah to Boise, Idaho. I am always so amazed and inspired by all of the beautiful flowers and flora and fauna surrounding Temple Square. Deliciously soft, decadently green grass. Blooms in more variety and abundance than you can imagine. Reflecting ponds with clean, smooth water. It really does just feed my soul. Every time I walk through there I find the thought, "This must be what heaven is like." slipping across the back of my forehead.

I saw a picture the other day of a mother of a friend's backyard garden. It was beautiful and looked straight off the pages of a magazine. I longed for such a thing in my own life, but was whomped back to reality rather quickly. Why you may ask? Because I am the equivalent of the Horticultural Grim Reaper. My grass...brown, weedy and full of fire ants. Flowers...I know not to waste my money, I would just kill them. House plants...I have to buy the kind that can go a month without watering because I inadvertently turn into the cruel warden that denies them their much needed water.

It's not that I try to be neglectful, but I learned living in our place in Oregon (which was four acres of plants, plants, PLANTS!!!), that kind of flora and fauna takes a lot of flippin' time, expense and energy. I don't want to say I am lazy, but I am lucky to keep caught up on all the laundry that needs to be folded around here and keep the crumbs swept up from under the breakfast table. But still it irritates me, my inability to coax beauty out of a growing thing.

I read a passage this morning by Sarah Ban Breathnach though that gave me a good chuckle. It was almost as if she had been spying on me. She said "Gardeners who creatively toil in the rich soil of imagination, like myself, often end up surrounded by plants that look as if they had been tended by Morticia Addams."

It made me feel a little more at peace with myself, knowing there is a time and season for everything. Now is the phase of my life where the growing things I encourage are my children. So unless I become fabulously wealthy and can afford a cottage behind my house where a happy, full-time gardener resides; I will have to be content with cultivating the rich soil that grows the daydreams of my mind.

Brynna's Seventh Birthday - Kani House

***WARNING!!! FIVE MILLION PICTURES AHEAD! IT'S EITHER POST THEM ON HERE OR GET LOST IN THE SHUFFLE - SO WE ARE POSTING THEM ALL!!***

 Yesterday was Brynna's 7th Birthday and we decided that some proper fun was in order! Some people are all into party planning and all that jazz, but truthfully it makes me want to break out into hives. Too much pressure to make everything perfect.

 So I told Brynnie rather than a big hulabaloo where I run around like a crazy person, to pick just one of her good friends to spend the day with and we could do anything she wanted. She agreed that sounded like a pretty good idea!

I love Ivy's face in this picture!

 She of course picked her best buddy Ivy, whom she has known since they were both just a few months old, to celebrate her special day with. These girls are a hoot togther. I think one of the things Brynna loves most about Ivy is that she loves being silly about as much as Brynna does! As you can see, there was no shortage of silliness this day!

Maryn had a pool party to attend soon after we left, so she came along for lunch and had fun contributing to the crazy face contest!

We started out our day with our birthday tradition of doughnuts and chocolate milk, but agreed unanimously that our taste buds must not be what they used to, because it just felt like SO much sugar so early in the morning! (Yes, we know doughnuts and chocolate milk are sugary, but even Brynna said it was just so sweet!)

  Then Brynna said she wanted to go to Crossfit with me to workout after breakfast. So we showed up and lo and behold Ivy's mom had brought her too! So the girls warmed up with the group and were great, little running buddies together. 

  We had originally planned to pick Ivy up around lunch time, but the girls were having so much fun we decided to just let them spend the entire day together and so Ivy came home with us.

 The girls played outside while I got showered up and frosted some cupcakes and then it was off to lunch! Brynna is a little seafood lover and had been craving some sushi. Since I wasn't sure this was every seven-year-olds cup of tea, we decided to compromise and go to one of our favorite Japanese Steakhouses, Kani House, where Brynna could have her sushi and Ivy could have hibachi.

Chopsticks up the nose...niiiice!

 The girls loved it and at one point Ivy even said "I love this place! I want to work here when I grow up!" I told her to start practicing her knife and egg-spinning skills! ;)

Soon enough, our bellies were full and we were ready to head out onto the next leg of our BFF day of fun!