Hello 2017

It seems throughout the years I've resolved a million times to stop neglecting this poor blog. Even though today is New Years Day, I'm not back to fulfill some sort of rigid resolution. I'm here again because I am so appreciative of the me that took the time, years ago, to document her life. From time to time, when a memory is sparked, I will log on and search old posts to see what I wrote. I'll see the days and years represented. The hardships, triumphs, inspiration, stupidity or humor, successes and things unrealized, and it's all here. It's a piece of me.

When I think back to this past year, I realize that 2016 was an interesting one. I had so much to be thankful for, and yet in many ways I struggled personally. Ways that challenged me not to write; as if those struggles wouldn't etch their way into my heart and story if I didn't write them down. Ways that made me want to hide and isolate myself, afraid to really let anyone know me or the quiet things I carried. But in this year of personal challenges, I also learned a lot about love and it's reaches. I gained new insight into what it feels like to experience grips of depression, and it afforded me the ability to see others with more empathy. I learned about the absolute relief that comes with a willingness to let my Savior carry my burdens, and trust in my Heavenly Father's will and timing for my life. I learned that despite my perceived weaknesses, that I am so much stronger than I ever thought. I learned how much my family loves me. I learned that I can have friends and be a friend. Despite what was hard, I am so grateful for every minute of it. Every humbling moment of searching. Every gesture of pure love and support. I'm thankful that as the year closed I could look in the mirror and truly know that I am enough.

Moving forward into this new year of 2017, where possibilities are whatever I choose to make them, I feel my mind is cleared and at peace from the lessons 2016 taught me. I feel more like me than I have in awhile, and I'm ready to be back, and be honest, and to share a piece of me on here. I mostly anticipate that I will probably be my only reader, and I'm okay with that. Because I'm here for me, and future me will love my guts for it.

Roswell Mill

 We were feeling cooped up. Trapped in a house by tired bodies from busy schedules and cold, gray skies. We decided to act and piled in the van and headed to our happy place. The color of the sky didn't matter. The naked, barren trees didn't matter. What mattered was the fresh air filling our lungs and just being together, all six of us, in the same place at the same time. The girls drew maps in the sand with sticks. We littered the trail with peanut shells as we walked, like we were a lesser-known, Southern version of Hansel and Gretel. We imagined the lucky squirrels that would happen upon the occasional peanut that jumped from our grasp before it could make its way to our hungry mouths. We watched water glide as smooth as glass before it rushed and crashed over falls. We ran and we dawdled. We hushed and we hollered. We spent this first day of this New Year doing what we hope fills up many more days over the coming days, weeks and months. Enjoying life's simple pleasures. Together.

The covered bridge the girls love to race across.

Maryn whittling with the new pocketknife Santa brought her.

Lauryn leading the pack.

Lulu swears she saw a fish go over the waterfall!