One of the things I love about being a member of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the total feeling of family. Since we
moved back to Georgia
last year one of the things we have missed the most is being near family. I was
spoiled for the first 31 years of my life to have family nearby. People who
knew me and were easy to lean on. But I have truly gained a better appreciation
for the Church as I have watched in others' lives and felt in my own the way
members of my church circle their wagons, so to speak, around one another. If
there is illness, babies being born, job loss, a move, a death in the family,
just having a bad day or whatever it may be, someone is there. And more often
than that, many people are there. To love you, support you, physically feed you
or spiritually nurture you.
In our Church we have a women's organization called the Relief Society. This group of women, of which I am a member of, accepts Christ's invitation to love and take care of one another through a program called Visiting Teaching. Each woman is assigned another woman or women, or as we call them Sisters (because we are all God's children and therefore literally spiritual sisters) to accept stewardship over. This includes checking on that individual's needs, offering sincere friendship and also to be a spiritual support to that individual. Admittedly when I was in my twenties, probably because I was in my comfort zone, I didn't catch the full vision on Visiting Teaching myself. I didn't really magnify my calling or sometimes had a bad attitude about it because I hadn't fully gained a testimony of or appreciation for the program. I would do it, but my heart wasn't in it.
However, when we moved from Georgia to Oregon at the beginning of 2010 I had never felt more like a fish out of familiar water. I was coming out of a very difficult time in my life and also heading into another. I had my parents close by, but I was without a true friendship outside of my family. But then shortly after arriving in Oregon, two women, Heidi and Marci, were assigned to be my Visiting Teachers. I immediately felt at ease with these two women, as Heidi cracked jokes and broke the ice and Marci shared her positive, easygoing outlook. I felt a humble gratitude that Heavenly Father had sent me just what I was needing at that time. We weren't necessarily in each others' back pockets all the time, but I knew without knowing them for very long that I could count on them for anything.
Heidi seemed to show up without warning on a moment of inspiration that was so in tune with my unvoiced thoughts that it was uncanny. She offered sound advice mixed with humor to lighten whatever was troubling me. Marci too, who had a passel of young boys in tow, would show up with flowers or cookies and a smile that exuded the selfless love she demonstrated to every one she came in contact with. Oregon continued to be a hard time for us, but I can truly say, those women were my bright spot. They never made me feel I was their assignment, but truly became my friends.
Fast forward to this morning. I found myself sitting on a couch in the living room of a woman I had barely met. We talked, shared experiences and things we had in common. I know it sounds crazy, but by the time I left I felt true, genuine love for this sister. We talked about how it doesn't matter if we grew up in the Church or converted later in life, or if we have been inactive or active, or not even a member of the Church, we are all the same. We are all God's children and He loves us not just collectively, but individually. We talked about how each and every one of us are flawed, but trying each day to do what is right in our own way and in our own time. We talked about how we all travel paths of spirituality or understanding in this life at different paces and how that is okay.
In our Church we have a women's organization called the Relief Society. This group of women, of which I am a member of, accepts Christ's invitation to love and take care of one another through a program called Visiting Teaching. Each woman is assigned another woman or women, or as we call them Sisters (because we are all God's children and therefore literally spiritual sisters) to accept stewardship over. This includes checking on that individual's needs, offering sincere friendship and also to be a spiritual support to that individual. Admittedly when I was in my twenties, probably because I was in my comfort zone, I didn't catch the full vision on Visiting Teaching myself. I didn't really magnify my calling or sometimes had a bad attitude about it because I hadn't fully gained a testimony of or appreciation for the program. I would do it, but my heart wasn't in it.
However, when we moved from Georgia to Oregon at the beginning of 2010 I had never felt more like a fish out of familiar water. I was coming out of a very difficult time in my life and also heading into another. I had my parents close by, but I was without a true friendship outside of my family. But then shortly after arriving in Oregon, two women, Heidi and Marci, were assigned to be my Visiting Teachers. I immediately felt at ease with these two women, as Heidi cracked jokes and broke the ice and Marci shared her positive, easygoing outlook. I felt a humble gratitude that Heavenly Father had sent me just what I was needing at that time. We weren't necessarily in each others' back pockets all the time, but I knew without knowing them for very long that I could count on them for anything.
Heidi seemed to show up without warning on a moment of inspiration that was so in tune with my unvoiced thoughts that it was uncanny. She offered sound advice mixed with humor to lighten whatever was troubling me. Marci too, who had a passel of young boys in tow, would show up with flowers or cookies and a smile that exuded the selfless love she demonstrated to every one she came in contact with. Oregon continued to be a hard time for us, but I can truly say, those women were my bright spot. They never made me feel I was their assignment, but truly became my friends.
Fast forward to this morning. I found myself sitting on a couch in the living room of a woman I had barely met. We talked, shared experiences and things we had in common. I know it sounds crazy, but by the time I left I felt true, genuine love for this sister. We talked about how it doesn't matter if we grew up in the Church or converted later in life, or if we have been inactive or active, or not even a member of the Church, we are all the same. We are all God's children and He loves us not just collectively, but individually. We talked about how each and every one of us are flawed, but trying each day to do what is right in our own way and in our own time. We talked about how we all travel paths of spirituality or understanding in this life at different paces and how that is okay.
I have come to understand that we are each given trials in this life, that sometimes seem unexplainable, for a reason. So many times we can't help from asking God "Why me?", "Why now?", or "What do I do?" There are those moments you find yourself being comforted by someone else's experience in the water you are trying so hard to tread, but feel like you are sinking in. The voice that says, I have survived this and so can you. Lean on me. Suddenly you find gratitude for someone else's trial, someone else's experience. And then there are those full-circle moments after you survived and find yourself on spiritually solid ground where you can use your hurt, your trials, your worry or your heartbreak to be that voice of encouragement to others. Because through the love and light of Christ there is relief for us all.
So often I find myself feeling I am an unworthy servant of my Savior. I get frustrated with my kids. Most days my house looks like a mine field of toys, shoes, dishes and laundry. I procrastinate. I don't read my scriptures as often as I should and a million other things I could improve on. It's easy to beat yourself up. To forget your purpose; the one that was designed specifically for you. It's easy to stand still rather than progress out of fear or self-doubt. It's easy to sell yourself short of being your best you.
It's times like these where I find myself thankful for the women in my life, those conduits of Christ's love, who have said through their actions; that meal, quote, kind thought, conversation or saved seat that seem to say, take my hand and we can walk this road together. As I consider the blessings of my life, both the one's that felt like blessings and also the one's that felt like a kick in the gut while I was in the midst of them (but are blessings in disguise), I can say without a doubt and despite my many shortcomings, that that is the woman I want to become.