Today was a busy day. It was the last day of the kids' Christmas Break. We were busy trying to tackle to-do lists before the rush of schedules and real life was back in full swing. Putting away Christmas decorations, menu planning, grocery shopping, doing housework, and we went hiking together as a family on the trails in our neighborhood. Like I said, it was a good day in all, but the girls have had a lot of togetherness over Break and were getting under each others skin.
There is something you should know about my kids. I love them with all my heart and soul, but they are LOUD! Non-stop talking, and talking over each other on top of that. Picking little fights that lead to unnecessary tears and drama. Not listening to instructions the first time, which make me have to repeat myself. (I LOATHE having to repeat myself!) Don't get me wrong, they are good kids, but by the time dinner was over I felt physically and mentally exhausted, and ready for bedtime.
In the past month Justin, who has struggled with his relationship with God for most of our married life, has been working on rekindling his testimony, and returning his focus to letting the Gospel of Jesus Christ be the center of his life and goals. Needless to say, this change of heart has been an answer to many, many years of earnest and heartfelt prayers from me, and many others who sincerely love Justin. This change has brought about a lot of new things in our relationship that I have waited for for a very long time. I can feel through Justin's efforts my burdens easing, and tonight was no exception.
Before I always felt the weight of knowing that my children's religious and spiritual foundation rested solely on my shoulders. I love the Lord very much and was willing to carry any load He saw fit to give me; but there was so much to do that I just did not feel equipped for. Working, raising kids, running a house, making family prayers - morning and night happen, daily family and personal scripture study, Family Home Evening every week, serving in church, homework, activities, family finances, trying to focus on and connect with each child, make sure school was going okay, temple attendance, and the list goes on. It felt like so, so much and I struggled doing it all on my own. I would find myself on my knees pleading to my Father in Heaven to fill in the gaps that my inadequacies left. I was doing the best I could, but there was just so much, and I was just one person.
Tonight as we finished dinner, I slumped in my chair, exhausted and trying to muster up the energy to get the nightly kitchen clean-up delegated and enforced. There was no part of me mentally or physically that was up for preparing and presenting a Family Home Evening lesson this Monday night. I found an answer to prayers as Justin stepped in and took care of the whole lesson. He pulled out his old notebook from his mission and shared stories with the girls about his experiences with prayer. He was candid about his absence from church for a long time, and the prayers that were answered that sparked his return to the gospel. When the lesson was over Lauryn said "Dad, thank you. That was a really great lesson."
I was still tired, but I didn't feel weary, because I was thankful. Thankful that I'm not alone in this marriage spiritually anymore. Thankful that I have someone here who is working towards the same eternal goals that I have wanted for so long. Thankful that Heavenly Father is a God of miracles. Thankful that my husband's heart has been softened. Thankful that after a crazy, loud, kind of disobedient day, that we could sit down together as a family and feel the spirit together. Thankful that even on the crazy days, I can lay my head down at night and say to myself "God is good. All the time," and really be able to feel the truth of those words in my own life.
God IS good. All the time. And I'm really thankful for that.
