Tonight, for the first time, Justin and I watched 'A River Runs Through It.' I know, I am a little late to the game. It left me with such a haunting and profound reminder of the parallel lives that people generations and geography apart can have. That sadly my family's walk has been tread before.A story of the Maclean family, like my own McLean family. Siblings raised with a knowledge of God by parents who loved them, who never stopped caring or hoping for them. One gone astray. The brother who wouldn't accept help. The brother bent on living his life according to his own rules, however treacherous. While the film was beautiful, it left me with a sadness knowing that the phone call will come, just like it did to the Maclean family, telling my McLean family that my brother is dead. And really despite the gut-wrenching heartache, not one of us will be surprised.
It's a sick feeling to see a path that will ultimately lead to death and you can only watch helplessly as innocent people get sucked into the warpath of reckless vice. But there is nothing you can do. Your hands are tied.
However, the words of Reverend Maclean, towards the end of the movie, seared into my mind as he said "Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."
I will never understand. But somehow, through the grace of God, I can still love. It's the only thing that has brought me an ounce of peace.