One of the things I love about being a member of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the total feeling of family. Since we
moved back to Georgia
last year one of the things we have missed the most is being near family. I was
spoiled for the first 31 years of my life to have family nearby. People who
knew me and were easy to lean on. But I have truly gained a better appreciation
for the Church as I have watched in others' lives and felt in my own the way
members of my church circle their wagons, so to speak, around one another. If
there is illness, babies being born, job loss, a move, a death in the family,
just having a bad day or whatever it may be, someone is there. And more often
than that, many people are there. To love you, support you, physically feed you
or spiritually nurture you.
In our Church we have a women's organization called
the Relief Society. This group of women, of which I am a member of, accepts
Christ's invitation to love and take care of one another through a program
called Visiting Teaching. Each woman is assigned another woman or women, or as
we call them Sisters (because we are all God's children and therefore literally
spiritual sisters) to accept stewardship over. This includes checking on that
individual's needs, offering sincere friendship and also to be a spiritual
support to that individual. Admittedly when I was in my twenties, probably
because I was in my comfort zone, I didn't catch the full vision on Visiting
Teaching myself. I didn't really magnify my calling or sometimes had a bad
attitude about it because I hadn't fully gained a testimony of or appreciation
for the program. I would do it, but my heart wasn't in it.
However, when we moved from Georgia
to Oregon at
the beginning of 2010 I had never felt more like a fish out of familiar water.
I was coming out of a very difficult time in my life and also heading into
another. I had my parents close by, but I was without a true friendship outside
of my family. But then shortly after arriving in Oregon, two women, Heidi and Marci, were
assigned to be my Visiting Teachers. I immediately felt at ease with these two
women, as Heidi cracked jokes and broke the ice and Marci shared her positive,
easygoing outlook. I felt a humble gratitude that Heavenly Father had sent me
just what I was needing at that time. We weren't necessarily in each others'
back pockets all the time, but I knew without knowing them for very long that I
could count on them for anything.
Heidi seemed to show up without warning on a moment of
inspiration that was so in tune with my unvoiced thoughts that it was uncanny.
She offered sound advice mixed with humor to lighten whatever was troubling me.
Marci too, who had a passel of young boys in tow, would show up with flowers or
cookies and a smile that exuded the selfless love she demonstrated to every one
she came in contact with. Oregon
continued to be a hard time for us, but I can truly say, those women were my
bright spot. They never made me feel I was their assignment, but truly became
my friends.
Fast forward to this morning. I found myself sitting
on a couch in the living room of a woman I had barely met. We talked, shared experiences and things we had
in common. I know it sounds crazy, but by the time I left I felt true, genuine love for this sister.
We talked about how it doesn't matter if we grew up in the Church or converted later in life, or if we have been
inactive or active, or not even a member of the Church, we are all the same. We
are all God's children and He loves us not just collectively, but individually.
We talked about how each and every one of us are flawed, but trying each day to
do what is right in our own way and in our own time. We talked about how we all
travel paths of spirituality or understanding in this life at different paces
and how that is okay.
I have come to understand that we are each given
trials in this life, that sometimes seem unexplainable, for a reason. So many
times we can't help from asking God "Why me?", "Why now?",
or "What do I do?" There are those moments you find yourself being
comforted by someone else's experience in the water you are trying so hard to
tread, but feel like you are sinking in. The voice that says, I have survived
this and so can you. Lean on me. Suddenly you find gratitude for someone else's
trial, someone else's experience. And then there are those full-circle moments
after you survived and find yourself on spiritually solid ground where you can
use your hurt, your trials, your worry or your heartbreak to be that voice of
encouragement to others. Because through the love and light of Christ there is
relief for us all.
So often I find myself feeling I am an unworthy servant
of my Savior. I get frustrated with my kids. Most days my house looks like a
mine field of toys, shoes, dishes and laundry. I procrastinate. I don't read my
scriptures as often as I should and a million other things I could improve on.
It's easy to beat yourself up. To forget your purpose; the one that was
designed specifically for you. It's easy to stand still rather than progress
out of fear or self-doubt. It's easy to sell yourself short of being your best
you.
It's times like these where I find myself thankful for
the women in my life, those conduits of Christ's love, who have said through
their actions; that meal, quote, kind thought, conversation or saved seat that
seem to say, take my hand and we can walk this road together. As I consider the
blessings of my life, both the one's that felt like blessings and also the
one's that felt like a kick in the gut while I was in the midst of them (but
are blessings in disguise), I can say without a doubt and despite my many
shortcomings, that that is the woman I want to become.