If you don't have anything nice to say...

...don't say anything at all, right?

But I just.can't.resist!!

I posted this to my Facebook status tonight and immediately deleted it for fear of offending some people on my friend's list who could benefit from this advice....

I get annoyed by people who refuse to grow up. If you have graduated from high school, that means it's time to stop acting like you are still 16 and let life change you in good ways. Put your boobs back in your shirt, quit taking five million posey pictures of yourself and go be a productive human being who grasps that there is a universe beyond the end of your cute, little nose. Sorry I just had to get that off my chest.

Truthfully, even if my 16-year-old acted the way some of these full grown adults act I would be embarrassed. When did it become "hot" to dress like a hooker, drink like a sailor, and be so self-absorbed that your greatest joy in life is capturing new and seductive poses of yourself?

Why would you want to seduce the entire Facebook population anyway? Doesn't that just scream "I don't think enough of myself, so I have to try and sell my sexuality and attractiveness to other people so I can be validated by a complete array of random people in my life."?

It's weird to me.

I have nothing against sexy. Sexy is good. For the right audience. Particularly the one you actually share a bed with. Grandma doesn't need to see your sex kitten. Random friend from high school doesn't need to see you getting your 30-year-old self sloshed pressed up like a lesbo against your best friend. Cousin doesn't need to see you pose with furry, kitty cat ears and that ridiculous kissy-face people make that they think makes them look "SOOOOO HAWT!!!"

Even at Costco today some chick was shopping with her boyfriend/husband and baby who had the most ENORMOUS boobs I have ever seen popping out of her tiny, spaghetti-strap tank. We are talking about unprecedented levels of cleavage here people. At least from what I have seen publicly displayed. Think longer than a butt crack... and this chick was tiny. So ridiculously unproportionate... but that's another story. Back to the point. Her husband/boyfriend apparently loved the boobage. So much so that he proudly displayed her in a seductive, ample-bosomed pose tattooed on his bicep....as they are grocery shopping with their baby.

Because nothing turns me on like shopping for toilet paper with my kid in tow. Gotta see/expose every inch possible of those sweet ta-ta's as I buy ketchup and frozen chicken. Right?!

Am I the only one that thinks this is weird? Am I the only one that thinks their grandkids are going to be seriously grossed out by grandma being preserved in ink in all her sexual glory on grandpa's arm? Am I the only one who thinks if sex kitten is out all the time, what makes it exciting when it's actually time to get down to business?

I could go on, but the moral of the story and my rant is...get your sexy on people. Just don't subject the general population to it. And also don't let it define you. Don't let the only thing you have to offer be a kissy-face and arm-length self-portrait. Because it's so played out it doesn't really impress anyone anymore. All it accomplishes is making you look like a desperate, self-absorbed fool. And really, who finds that attractive?

Rant over.