Motherhood

I decided just now, sitting waist-high in piles of laundry needing to be folded, that motherhood is good for me. It seems crazy and most days I feel spread so thin...but it has humbled me. For someone who used to have such rigid ideals...every piece of laundry must be ironed before hanging, every bump in a ponytail must be smoothed, no one could see my house dirty or face bare. It was suffocating. Being mother to four daughters, while at times felt like it would break me, has freed me. To just be me. Out of sheer and complete necessity. Because there is no more energy for pretense. And all I have left to give is the purest, most honest form of myself.