Crowded Flights and Crying Babies

I am sitting on a plane right now, flying solo, in a crowded cabin of people. Across the aisle a mother comforts her crying baby and I thought, amongst people’s annoyed shifts in their body language, what a beautiful sound it is.

My four babies are at home. I should be enjoying this time without having to consider another person’s feelings, wants or needs. But all I really want to do is to scoop that baby up and offer her mother a break. I wouldn’t of course, because even if the nicest stranger would have offered that to me at that phase of my life I would have thought them a crazy person. But still, it would make me happy.

It made me reflect on my own girls though and the path I have traveled in my own journey as a mom over this past decade. How in that moment, when it was me on that plane with the tiny, inconsolable baby, how I was so weighed down with stress and worry. “Was I ruining everyone else’s flight?” Feeling helpless at not knowing how to make a situation better that affected everyone around me. Now I wish I could tell that mom across the aisle that I think it is a beautiful sound. That I am thankful to see a mother’s work at work.

In a world where it seems like most strangers you meet seem to be keenly concerned with their own selfish thoughts, wants and needs, seeing a mother in action is a breath of fresh air. With every shush and rocking, a breath of effort is made on someone else's behalf. Putting aside your own comforts and interests for someone else, especially for someone as innocently demanding as a baby, is a beautiful thing.

As Justin and I drove past our old exit on the freeway on the way to the airport we reflected on how different our life was then, when we lived off that old lane of memories. We had no children. Our schedules were our own. Our money, however little it was, was our own. We chuckled about how different our lives are now. My life, my schedule, my efforts, my money, everything, is often about everyone but me…and that is okay. Surrendering to motherhood and the process of being able to truly serve others every day has brought me more joy that any other inwardly focused motivation.

Let’s not kid ourselves though. Being a mom is the hardest, most stressful, nerve-wracking, guilt-inducing, labor-intensive thing I have ever done. But it is so, so good. Elevated by all the intangibles that you can never quite put your finger on, but that make the process so dang fulfilling.

I firmly believe that it is important to take care of ourselves. To not forget who we are and remember to put ourselves on the map of our own life. But, my girls have taught me that while we so often we think the pursuit to happiness is paved by solely taking care of ourselves, true joy is found in nurturing others. 

So I find myself grateful as I sit wedged, elbows tucked and sore-bummed on this stale-aired flight for that crying baby and her momma’s testament to the potential for goodness within each one of us.