My four babies are at home. I should be enjoying this
time without having to consider another person’s feelings, wants or needs. But
all I really want to do is to scoop that baby up and offer her mother a break.
I wouldn’t of course, because even if the nicest stranger would have offered
that to me at that phase of my life I would have thought them a crazy person.
But still, it would make me happy.
It made me reflect on my own girls though and the path I
have traveled in my own journey as a mom over this past decade. How in that
moment, when it was me on that plane with the tiny, inconsolable baby, how I
was so weighed down with stress and worry. “Was I ruining everyone else’s
flight?” Feeling helpless at not knowing how to make a situation better that
affected everyone around me. Now I wish I could tell that mom across the aisle
that I think it is a beautiful sound. That I am thankful to see a mother’s work
at work.
In a world where it seems like most strangers you meet
seem to be keenly concerned with their own selfish thoughts, wants and needs,
seeing a mother in action is a breath of fresh air. With every shush and
rocking, a breath of effort is made on someone else's behalf. Putting aside
your own comforts and interests for someone else, especially for someone as
innocently demanding as a baby, is a beautiful thing.
As Justin and I drove past our old exit on the freeway on
the way to the airport we reflected on how different our life was then, when we
lived off that old lane of memories. We had no children. Our schedules were our
own. Our money, however little it was, was our own. We chuckled about how
different our lives are now. My life, my schedule, my efforts, my money,
everything, is often about everyone but me…and that is okay. Surrendering to
motherhood and the process of being able to truly serve others every day has
brought me more joy that any other inwardly focused motivation.
Let’s not kid ourselves though. Being a mom is the hardest,
most stressful, nerve-wracking, guilt-inducing, labor-intensive thing I
have ever done. But it is so, so good. Elevated by all the intangibles that you
can never quite put your finger on, but that make the process so dang
fulfilling.
I firmly believe that it is important to take care of
ourselves. To not forget who we are and remember to put ourselves on the map of
our own life. But, my girls have taught me that while we so often we think the
pursuit to happiness is paved by solely taking care of ourselves, true joy is
found in nurturing others.
So I find myself grateful as I sit wedged,
elbows tucked and sore-bummed on this stale-aired flight for that crying baby
and her momma’s testament to the potential for goodness within each one of us.
