Being Loved

    As I went to the sink to wash my hands I looked up and caught my reflection in the mirror. I smiled because the face staring back at me was one I hadn't seen in awhile. She looked amused, with eyes that twinkled like they knew something. Her face looked tired, yet rested at the same time. Her hair was askew, but playful. The flush on her cheeks captured days gone past; while the lines on her face, like the corners of her eyes that happily crinkled like tissue paper, told a story of life lived. Missing was the dull eyes, the slumped shoulders and the deep, drudging lines of stress and sleep deprivation pulling on her face. Even at the hour where one day imperceivably meshes into another, she looked almost...beautiful.

    Life has been so busy for Justin and I, with school, work, and other obligations. It feels like we hardly see each other anymore. But this weekend, he is mine. We watched a movie together, pretzeled on the couch, legs and arms all intertwined. We laughed at the -isms in our personalities that we have each grown to find endearing. We walked under the inky, black sky of a flawlessly clear night, speckled with stars, and wondered why it had been so long since either one of us looked up? We filled our lungs with the sweet scent of honeysuckle that meandered it's way through the still night air. He listened as I jabbered about the transport I felt to my childhood days on Autumn Ridge Parkway, when that delicate sweetness seeped into my senses. We made plans to take our Little Women strawberry picking once the sun rises and yields a new day. We marveled at the half life lived while our freezer has been devoid of scrumptious, sweet, tart, ruby-red, strawberry freezer jam. (You know life is far too busy when you have subjected yourself to over a year of mediocre, store-bought jam!) We looked into each others eyes and smiled. We kissed like teenagers. We basked in the absolute comfortability of married life. I know him, he knows me. There is no face to put on, no pretense, no uptightness. Just pure, comfortable honesty.

    The man who put the twinkle in my eye, and smooths lines from worry to lines of life, lies next to me in bed right now. Softly snoring ever so slightly, as his chest rises and falls. When I am with him, without distractions, I can feel the burden lift. Life without him weighs me down. Like trying to run against the current of the ocean's waves. With him by my side I can feel those waves start to recede, and each moment is a step closer to dry, warm sand where I can lay and rest without fear in that moment of being swept away. The woman who carries so much responsibility is free to just be the girl he loves.

    As the upturned corners of her mouth caught me off guard and smiled back at me in the mirror tonight, my reflection whispered to me a truth that had escaped me for awhile amidst the stress of life. One that age, circumstance, or life cannot erase. Being loved makes you beautiful.

Project 365 {2013} - Day 236

Today Justin and I slept in, took our time getting dressed and then wandered around Chattanooga. Soaking in the sunshine and waterfront views, little side streets and Little Portland feel. We ate breakfast at a little diner that certainly probably had multiple health-code violations, but was a fun Mom n' Pop experience nonetheless. We wandered through antique stores without fear of little hands breaking things and held hands while we walked and talked. This city is such a gem and I am so grateful we had the chance to sneak away!

Project 365 {2013} - Day 193

 

I was looking through an old journal tonight and came across Justin's and my engagement picture. The faces of two babies stared back at me. We look so young! Largely because we were. But I had a moment of gratitude for Justin. We grew up into adults together and have been by each other through thick and thin. It's a kind of history and bond that doesn't just come, but is earned. And I am grateful and proud we have done that together.

Project 365 {2013} - Day 176

Fourteen years ago today Justin put this ring on my finger and promised to be my partner in crime for all time and eternity. It has been a wild ride and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that there is not another person on Earth that I would rather share my life with. I am simply crazy about him.