Project 365 {2013} - Day 199

I could have lost her today.

"Where's Devyn?" a voice, that sounded just like my own, silently whispered in my ear.

Just minutes before Brynna had sweetly taken her to the bathroom for me. But now Brynna was next to me and Devyn's floaties laid unoccupied at my feet. Brynna's friend had walked in just as her and Devy were walking out of the bathroom and in the midst of happy hellos, she and I lost our concentration for a moment.

As the voice whispered, adrenaline surged as I scanned the pool. There, on the opposite end, I made out a little shape, struggling to kick under the water.

Instinct took over, not even feeling the pavement beneath my feet as I flew to my baby. Running then leaping into the pool and scooping her out from beneath it's surface. She inhaled deeply and in a shaky voice said "Mommy, I held my brweaf. Mommy, dat was scawy."

I held her close and quietly hugged her. Wanting to keep calm so she wouldn't feel scared by my reaction, but meanwhile the voice in my head telling me "Sarah, it could have all been over. You could have lost her." I have never before been confronted with that in-your-face fear. That in-your-face perspective.

Later tonight after the bustle of the day ended and kids were tucked in, I crawled into her little toddler bed with her and brushed blonde curls from her eyes and stroked her freckled, baby-soft cheek. I breathed her in. Her presence, the steady rise and fall of her chest, her eyelashes laid peacefully across her cheeks. I don't know how I would ever live if something happened to any of my babies. Especially as a result of a shortcoming of my own.

I vowed in my heart to stop just being around my kids when I am with them. But to see them, appreciate them and soak them in. Because you never know when the day you wake up, could be the day that changes your life forever.

Project 365 {2013} - Day 198

I just love this face and I just love this kid!

Brynna's Seventh Birthday - Pool Time!

 What Brynna didn't know was that her momma had planned a pool UN-party! I decided how could I botch swimming and cupcakes? So I invited a bunch of her friends from church over to the pool to hang out with her on her special day!

 Lauryn, Brenna, Brynna, Ivy, Maryn and Emalee

 Devyn with our favorite sitter in the world, Shea (Ivy's big sister) and Lauryn with Shea's cousin Aspynn.

 Brenna Vickery and Brynna doubling as a submarine!

 Maryn had been a pool baby all day long but was ready for more! It's not always easy to have a day be all about someone else, so for her to be able to join in at the end of the day and be a part of the party was fun for her!

 Ivy, Brenna & Brynna - three little buddies!

 I swear I could pinch this kid! She is just too dang cute!

 Sophia and Emalee

 Brenna, Shea, Lauryn, Devyn & Aspynn

All in all, I was pooped at the end of the day but was so glad that Brynna felt loved and celebrated. I know being one of four kids isn't always easy. It means you don't always get Mom and Dad's undivided attention. I think that is what I was most grateful for today; being able to focus on Brynna. To let her know how grateful we are she was born and that she came into our family. To celebrate that she is now and forever will be a member of the Young Crew.

Pool Bums

   
    The idea of hanging out, half-naked, baking my pasty, white skin in the sun with both strangers and people I know, while constantly on keep-someone-from-drowning-patrol really hasn't been my idea of fun in the past. Not to mention my hellish word association with the word 'pool' after our nightmare experience in Oregon taking care of THE WORST pool of all time at the home we were renting. I thought I was damaged on pools and swimming for the rest of my life.

    But the pool in our neighborhood opened last weekend and my friend Laura convinced me not to be an idiot and go...and I have been back almost every day since. I don't mean to lay it on thick or anything, but I frequently find even more reasons to love our life in Georgia more than the day before. It just keeps on getting better; down to the little things like the neighborhood pool. I can park it in a chair and be three feet away from my two little ones in the two, kiddie pools and the two older girls can be right in front of me swimming in water they can stand in if they need to and still be close enough for me to watch without having to be in the water with them. Not to mention I don't have to dump or mix chemicals, vacuum, skim, pull dead rats out of the filter, figure out what the h*ll is wrong with the pump, take in water samples or any or that other garbage. I just show up. Blissful I tell you, just blissful. Also the neighborhood has an adult-only pool and a family pool that are completely separate. I never have to worry about annoying the weird dude, drinking a beer and working on his skin cancer next to me, because guess what, that dude is no where near me.

    In addition to my other issues, my aversion to being at the pool has stemmed from the fact that I hate wearing a swim suit. I just feel so dang naked, like the whole world can see your every flaw. But after this week, I have decided that I can be at peace with the fact that there are 13-year-olds with bigger boobs than me. And also the fact that no matter what I do, I have cellulite on the backs of my legs. Guess what, so do 98% of the other women there. Even the ones that look like they are best friends with the gym. And there we are, walking around half-naked, with our dimpled, posterior thighs and no one cares. People are so laid back, so real, so polite. I just love where we live. I may yet not be a completely lame mom this summer and happily oblige when the Little Women beg to throw on their swimsuits and head out to the pool.