Reflections

It seems lately, probably because of my expanding belly, I have felt the absolute urgency within me to organize my life and refocus on what really matters to me. My family. I have spent many nights awake, wondering about this new life inside me. Wondering if there is enough of this poor, old, haggard Mom to go around. Wanting to give it everything and more, but wondering if I'm capable. Wondering if I will still be able to be and do enough for my sweet daughters, Maryn and Brynna. I have said it many times before, parenting is a humbling thing. One of the most humbling things I've ever done or ever will do, I'm sure of that. I have felt this worry and anxiety just gnawing at my insides. What if I don't have the answers? Will I let them down? Will they know, despite my mistakes how completely and sincerely I love them? Will they understand that I really am trying?

I have a picture that my dear friend Amber gave me after Maryn was born. I had it framed and it now sits on my dresser. It is a picture of Christ holding an infant and below it it says, "Out of My arms and into yours, I place this spirit into your care. Hold this little one extra close, a part of Heaven lingers there." I love it because it reminds that I am a bearer of one of the most sacred callings on Earth, and that is being a mother. Most days I feel inadequate of being responsible for the rearing of these special spirits that He has given to me. But the thing that brings me the most peace and most comfort is to know that He has not sent me here to do this alone.
This past week He has put people in my way that have brought words of comfort to me or extended an arm of carefree friendship. It is through these things, that He has given me, that my worries have eased and my thoughts have become more clear. My focus has become more sure and more than anything, my knowledge of His love and support for me has become a constant whisper of calm in my ear. I'm just so humbled by His goodness.

I hope some of the quotes brought to me by angels unaware will ring true to you as well.

My friend Marcey had this on her blog and I loved it. Words of our dear, beloved prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, who just passed away a few days ago at the age of 97. I will always love and appreciate his sweet sense of humor and optimism. You could not listen to President Hinckley speak and not feel uplifted and renewed. I'm thankful for his time on this Earth and his service to the Lord...
"I feel the need to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope that you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley


My sweet friend Joice brought me this one when she came to visit me last Friday. I always feel at peace after talking to Joice. She is an amazing woman with wonderful insight...
"I testify that He is the perfect example and leader, not asking us to do what He has not done, not asking us to endure what He has not endured, giving us enough, but not more than we can manage. I thank Him who did everything perfectly, for sharing His precious work with those of us who then do it so imperfectly." -Elder Neal A. Maxwell Dec. 2007 Ensign

Thanks also to Laura and Melysa for our playground chats. It's nice that I'm not alone in everything from balancing the family grocery budget to figuring out what's the best way to deal with the crazy antics of kids. There is power (and sanity) in numbers. I'm blessed to have such wonderful women around me!

Lucky Girls

One Saturday Justin and I were craving some of the soup, salad, and breadstick goodness from the Olive Garden. So we called up Justin's folks, Phil and Jody, to see if they wanted to join us and the girls for a little spontaneous lunch date. After we had stuffed ourselves silly, Phil and Jody asked us if we wanted to come hang out at their house for a little bit. Of course we couldn't resist! Maryn and Brynna are bananas about their Grammy and Gramps, so we would not be missing out on any hang out time! When we got to their house though, the girls got an even more fun surprise than just getting to hang out! Grammy told the girls not to peek and stay in the living room. Then she sneaked away into her bedroom, leaving us to wonder what was going on. When she reappeared she had new toys! Animal toys to be exact, which as far as my girls are concerned are the best there is! Jody said she knew we had just had Christmas, but that her friend had found an insanely awesome toy sale at Target and she couldn't resist! You will definitely never hear Maryn and Brynna complaining about getting surprised with new toys, spoiled little monkeys!
Maryn got a new 'Littlest Pet Shop' (her FAVORITE!!) frog with a diving board and lily pad jumping thingy. She was stoked! She already had two lizards, but this was her first LPS frog! Way to build up the amphibian collection! Gramps unfortunately discovered that breaking into Fort Knox would be seemingly easier than unwrapping toys these day! Note the look of concerned concentration on his face.Brynnie got a set of 'Soda Pop Pets' which I had never heard of, but it was a huge hit! I think the main reason being it came with a bazillion teeny, tiny accessories. Pacifiers, bottles, blankets, and all sorts of stuff smaller than Brynn's fingernails. I remember when I was a kid, just loving that kind of itty-bitty stuff! Maryn still excitedly waiting for Gramps to free her frog from it's cardboard prison. Can you tell she can't wait?!
Thanks for always being so good to our little ladies Grammy and Gramps! We love you!

I've Been Tagged!

Hooray, I have been tagged by Lindsey! I loved your post all about Mike, thanks woman! This tag is all about hubbies, so here is the scoop on my sexy man!

1. What is his name? Justin Dee Young - When I first asked him what his middle name was and he said Dee I was a little confused! I said "What do you mean? Your middle name is a letter?" To which he replied "No, D-E-E, not the letter D." I hadn't met anyone with that middle name before. Then I learned it comes from his Pa (Grandpa), Jon Dee and it all made sense. They were born on the same day and even look alike if you look at pictures of Pa when he was younger, so it's perfect!

2. How long have you been together? We first started dating, if you even want to call it that, (long story) in February 1999. So we've been together for nine years! It's crazy how fast that time has flown!

3. How long did you date? Okay are you ready for the long story? I hate telling it, I should just get a tape recorder with the pre-recorded story and hand it to people when they ask how we met. Ummm, well we only dated for about three days! Here's how it all began... Justin served a mission for our church in Portland, Oregon. The town I lived in was nearby and was his first area in which he was assigned to serve when he came to the Northwest. He first met my mother, who was working at the post office when he came by to mail some things. She noticed his Southern accent (which he strangely doesn't really have anymore) and the black missionary tag that all LDS Missionaries wear. In true Barb fashion, she cheerily said "Hello Elder!" and asked him where he was from. They discovered that Justin had come to Vancouver from Marietta, Georgia. Which just happened to be the same town my family lived in for six years prior to moving out West to Vancouver, Washington. Even weirder was that when his family moved to Georgia from Texas they moved into the exact same ward my family had moved out of. Had my family never moved out west, we would have lived only miles from each other.

I noticed the first time I met him that he had great taste in shoes because we had the same pair of Doc Marten's, only mine were the Mary Jane girl version (ahh, the '90s). I remember thinking he was kind of a jerk though and pretty cocky, which to me is totally nauseating. So I went on with my life, dating my then boyfriend and trying to survive the jungle that is high school. For some strange reason though, aside from what I didn't like about Justin, he had an impression on me and I didn't forget about him. Even after he left our town and continued his service elsewhere over the next two years, he was somewhere in the back of my mind. Which I really didn't understand at the time, but now I know it was the good Lord planting a seed.

Apparently somewhere in there, Justin had noticed me too. (I'm sure it was my fabulous Doc Marten's!) After he completed his two years of missionary service, he returned home to Georgia. Justin had been writing a close friend of his from his high school days, Stephanie, while he was on his mission. They had wondered about whether or not to try to take their friendship to the next level after he returned home. So shortly after returning to Georgia, he bought a plane ticket to Utah to see if there were any sparks between him and his old friend. Apparently, there just wasn't a single spark to be found. So oddly enough, one of the first people Justin called to lament to about his woman woes was my Mom. (Justin and my mom stayed in touch even after he left our area. I mean who doesn't love Sister McLean!?) They talked and eventually the conversation turned to "So, how's Sarah doing?" My mom suggested he find out himself and give me a call at where I was babysitting.

My boyfriend, Stu, had left for Rick's College and was preparing for his mission, so we agreed to date other people since we couldn't be together. My newfound friendship with Justin filled the void of being all alone in Vancouver after graduation, when all my friends had left for college. Even better, I found myself having great conversations with him and slowly I realized, I really liked this guy. We had talked on the phone long distance for a couple of months, when we decided that it was time for a visit. So I flew out from Washington to Georgia for Valentine's Day 1999. Three days after I got there, the writing was on the wall. I couldn't deny that I was head over heels in love with him, he proposed, we picked out a ring together, broke the news to our shocked and semi-ticked parents (I was 18). I flew home the next day and two weeks later Justin moved across the country to be with me. We were married three months later and the rest is history. It's totally insane, but strangely enough it seems to have worked for us in the long run. But just for the record, if our daughters ever pull a stunt like that I will beat them and lock them in their rooms!

4. How old is he? Justin turned 30 this past year on August 23rd. He says it was a little traumatizing and swears the aches and pains have increased ever since turning 30! It's a good thing he has a sassy wife in her 20's to keep him young! I have to remind him of his own pick-up line that "Hey baby, we're forever Young!" (I married into a great last name!)

5. Who eats more? I totally eat more than him, which surprises people because Justin is a big, burly guy. He really is quite picky actually, if it's not peanut butter, chocolate chips, or his Mom's cooking he really just can't put it down like I can!

6. Who said "I love you" first? Honestly, I can't remember. That whole time in my life was such a blur. Justin said it on the phone one night when we were still in the phone phase as he was falling asleep. (The time difference wasn't his friend, we'd talk until the middle of the night for him sometimes, poor guy!) I told him the next day what he had said and he seemed really surprised. Like if his subconscious said it, maybe he really did love me and he wasn't just saying it during his waking hours because I was a convenient rebound.

7. Who is taller? Justin is 6'2" and I am 5'8". He likes it when I wear heels though, he thinks it's sexy seeing me eye to eye.

8. Who is smarter? Hmm, I'm going to have to call a tie on that one. Justin and I have totally different interests, so we know a lot about totally different things. It's actually quite nice, because putting our two opposite brains together makes life more interesting!

9. Who does the laundry? Justin helps out a lot here. Usually I'll wash and dry it and he'll fold and iron. (I hate folding laundry!)

10. Who does the dishes? If he's in town, it's usually Justin. If I cook, he does the dishes. If he cooks, I'll do them. We have a pretty good thing going there.

11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Justin sleeps on the right and I sleep on the left. Not sure why, that's just the way it works!

12. Who pays the bills? Me! I am a total control freak (yes honey, I can admit it!) when it comes to finances. I am a very 'duck in a row' kind of person and really crave the security of knowing exactly where we stand with money. I honestly can't say Justin has ever paid a bill in our entire marriage. If I died, he'd be totally up a creek because I've always just taken care of all of it. Truthfully though, I like being fully in the loop and Justin doesn't have time to do it anyway. So it works!

13. Who mows the lawn? Justin. I'm not opposed to doing it, but he enjoys it. He throws on the iPod and gets out of the estrogen jungle that is our house and works up a sweat. It's good for our lawn and his mental health.

14. Who cooks the dinners? Like I said before, whoever isn't doing dishes is doing the cooking.

15. Who drives when you are together? Justin! He was a passenger in a car accident on his mission and so it freaks him out to not be in control of a vehicle when he's in it. It used to bother the little feminist (now equalist) in me, but I've matured through the years and recognize that if that's what he needs to feel safe, let him do it.

16. Who is more stubborn? We can both be pretty stubborn at times. But I think it's pretty fair to say, Justin is much more stubborn than me. The first several years of our marriage we really butted heads because that boy does not back down for anyone or anything unless it is 100% his idea and on his time. The years have helped him a little bit though, he's still stubborn, but softer.

17. Who kissed who first? Justin kissed me first as I was getting off the plane in the Atlanta airport, the first time we met in person post-mission.

18. Who asked who out first? Justin initially pursued sweet- little-ol'-me, which I loved to remind him of when he was fed up with me in our early years! :)

19. Who proposed? Justin proposed, but he will tell you that the way that he did is to this day one of the biggest regrets of his life. We were sitting on the couch in his parents basement watching a movie, actually he was watching me and it just came out. He hadn't planned on it, no ring, no speech. Just us in sweats not looking so great, but totally comfortable in each other's presence. Truthfully, for me it was okay. I already knew I wanted to spend my life with him and I was just so thrilled to hear those four little words. I don't need a flowery, romantic display to know Justin loves me. Sure, I love when Justin brings me flowers or writes me love letters. But what makes me feel loved is the way he looks at me. That night he looked at me and for the first time in a long time, maybe forever, I felt like I was home. In him I found safety, acceptance, and love that I hadn't ever found in anyone else. No ring or bended knee would have changed the feeling of completion that I had at that moment.

20. Who has more siblings? Justin has me beat by one. There are six kids in his family and five in mine. It's because on his mom's last pregnancy, she had twins!

21. Who wears the pants in the family? Like I mentioned earlier, I'm a total equalist. I don't believe in one partner being more dominant that the other. Justin and I work together as a team to make it all work. We pick up each other's slack when needed, because that 's what best friends are for.

So there you have it, now you know my husband a little bit better!
Now I am going to tag Erin, Tina, Kristen, Keira, Kristine, Melanie, and anyone else who would love to brag on their hubbies!

Roofing Woes

Our poor little house...

Back in October we developed a leak in the ceiling of our garage. We had the insurance adjuster come out and he determined that we had significant hail damage, from a nasty storm that had blown through earlier in the year. He said that we would need to have our entire roof replaced. So I did my homework and scheduled an estimate with what I perceived to be a competent and well respected company. I noticed on the estimate that they were charging about $900 more than what my insurance company was paying. I asked if they would be willing to negotiate on the price of the job. My estimate guy, Bill, swore that the insurance company had mis-measured the roof and that it was actually a bigger job, and that was why the price was different. Long story short, Bill went back in forth with the insurance company for two and a half months arguing the size of our roof. (Note my extreme patience giving this idiot two and a half months to do this!) In the end he came out and remeasured our roof again and it was determined that the insurance company's estimate had been right all along. So, basically at this point I'm out of time, patience, and brain cells with Bill the Bonehead and finally got the chutzpah to fire him.

So I started back at square one. I did my homework and found another company. (Although, at this point it seems to me checking with the Better Business Bureau and checking references still does not protect you from idiots.) So I have a new guy out, Tom. He immediately seems more knowledgeable than the first guy, but I'm a little weirded out that he hung around our house for two hours at the original estimate. Around this time, I have roofing mental breakdown after having smiled at and been polite with Longwinded Tom for what seemed like forever. I turn the whole thing over to Justin, stating I can't handle one more ounce of stress with this stupid roof. Tom says he'll take care of everything for us and in a timely manner. Less than a week later we are in business, the roofers show up at 7:20 am and start ripping the shingles off our roof. Not more than 30-45 minutes in to it, the skies open up and it starts to rain. (We have been in a drought, ironic isn't it that the one day I'm without a roof, it rains all day.) So the roofers have to abandon their post and leave us with a gigantic, sad, smurf-blue tarp covering our house. Oh well, you can't control the rain right? What I discovered a few hours later though, is that you can control how well you cover an exposed roof. I was sitting on my bed checking my e-mail when Maryn runs into my room sobbing "Mommy, we have a big problem! My ceiling is crying by my window!" I run upstairs and find that water is running out of the vents in both of the girls rooms. At this point any humor in me has totally, 100% left my body. I am ticked. We also had more water gushing out of the ceiling in the garage. We counted fourteen water spots on the ceilings in the girls rooms and closet and soaking wet carpet under the drips.

Lovely isn't it? Oh this is just the beginning.
Ahh, the garage ceiling, looks great don't you think?

I don't know about you, but I think all the heavy equipment only adds to the rooms decor.

Tom came over at 7:30 at night to set up industrial drying equipment to help get the air circulating. Knowing I was trying to get the kids to bed he swore he would only be there for 10 minutes. An hour and a half later, two cranky kids, one frazzled mom, mud stains on my carpet, crap blown from the fans all over Brynna's room and in our faces (from a previous job, Brynnie said "Look Mom, it's snowing!", uh no, insulation and debris from other people's houses is not snow!) and a blown fuse later they were up and running. Thankfully, the roofing company was really apologetic and is paying for all the drying, treating, repainting, and carpet cleaning. But it was still just a nightmare. As I type there are the sounds of progress on the roof, as the roofing team is finishing what the weather would not allow to be done yesterday. Luckily, Brynna helped me find my smile again this morning. As I was getting her dressed she discovered that industrial strength blowers make for great impromptu 'Vogue' moments. Here's our little ham releasing her inner supermodel...Zoolander would be proud!

Rocklin is Here!!!

I am so happy to share the news of the arrival of the newest member of our extended family! My wonderful t sister-in-law, Kristen and her hubby Adam welcomed their first child, Rocklin Jay Birkmeyer, into the world on January 12th! After a difficult pregnancy for Kristen, Rocklin was born just under 4 weeks early. But we are happy to say, despite his early arrival he is just as healthy as can be! Kristen, Adam, and Rocklin are all home and settled now and one very proud Grammy is there helping out! If you want to see more pics of their little man, just click on Kristen and Adam's link to the top left! Congratulations you two! We couldn't be happier for you!

Snow Falling Down

Late Wednesday afternoon we had a very unexpected surprise! The girls woke up from their naps and looked out the window to find big, fat, fluffy snowflakes floating down from the sky. Maryn let out a squeal and ran around the house yelling "It's snowing in Georgia! It's snowing in Georgia!" It was really starting to stick and I figured by morning we would be in a winter wonderland. So I started making dinner, putting off going out and playing in it, assuming we'd get some great playtime and snow pictures in the morning after it had snowed all night. Luckily for me, Justin and the girls didn't want to wait until morning. Justin grabbed the camera and the girls grabbed their coats.
Maryn wanted to take a picture too! Say "Cheese!" Dad!
During the night, the falling snow had turned to rain. By morning the three inches of snow we went to bed to was all gone. So much for me and my ideas about that awesome, winter wonderland snowday! I'm glad Justin seized the moment and let his girls play, frolic, and catch snowflakes on their tongues while they could. Maybe we'll be able to make that elusive snowman another year!

The Daring Book for Girls

My Mom and Dad gave Justin and I this funny book for Christmas. They wrote on the inside cover "Sarah & Justin, here's to many grand adventures with your 'Daring Girls'!" It made me laugh out loud when I unwrapped it, because on the back cover it says "For every girl with an independent spirit and a nose for trouble, here is the no-boys-allowed guide to adventure." Hmm, I think the authors may know my daughters! It's basically a field guide to being a really fun girl. There are chapters on everything from making the ultimate snowball to making friendship bracelets to famous female explorers and so much more! It really has gotten a chuckle out of me!

It also has taken me down memory lane to the days of my own girlhood! I had such a fun childhood with so many great, comical memories. In large part to my best childhood friend ever, Tina Stephanos! Tina and I together, were very 'Daring Girls'! When my family moved to Georgia from Illinois when I was six years old, the house next to us on Autumn Ridge Parkway was empty. But luckily for me, not for long! Shortly after we got there the Stephanos family moved in with their seven year old daughter, Tina. Little did we know when we ventured across the lawn separating our houses to say hello, that it was to be the start of the best of childhood friendships!

There are way too many funny memories to even write down. Each one makes me chuckle at the thought of it. Like the time we invited the entire neighborhood to come watch our impromptu dance extravaganza at my house. I totally chickened out at the last minute though and refused to come out! So poor Tina was left to somersault and twirl for everyone by herself! She kept coming back and saying "Are you gonna come out?!" But I just couldn't, I was paralyzed with fear! Luckily for me she didn't hate me forever for bailing on her!

We just about wore the wheels of our roller skates out racing down the hill we lived on top of, again and again. I was sure each time I would biff it and end up a mangled, bloodied mess at the bottom of the hill. But somehow Tina got me to defy death anyhow and race to the bottom with her. We played carhops, Barbie dolls, dress up, we dodged blowing leaves walking home from the bus stop, we made goofy tape recordings and had silly names for each other like Neener and Syrup. We played endless games of freeze tag on our lawn with the neighborhood boys. We had friendship earrings, friendship t-shirts, you name it, we were totally B.F.F. (Best Friends Forever!)

We also fought over the stupidest stuff. I remember fighting over who got to be "Ariel" from the Little Mermaid when we were playing pretend. Tina said her brown hair was closer to Ariel's red hair so she should be Ariel and I should be Flounder. That was the most absurd thing I'd ever heard, I said my blonde hair was closer to red and I should be Ariel! I can't remember how it was resolved. I think we just gave up and played something else. We also had a fight when we ended up with the same bedspread! (We both had lavender walls, white daybeds, and matching bedspreads!) Now I just see it as a testament to our mutually fabulous taste in room decor! But at the time I was miffed! I had to write a note on my bedroom door to remind myself "You are mad at Tina! Don't go play with her today!" It didn't work, we couldn't stay mad at each other for more than a day.

In fact my loyalty to Tina got me into the most shameful pickle of my entire childhood. There was a girl in Tina's class that was being mean to her. I didn't even know her, all I knew was she was messin' with my friend and we couldn't be having that. My psychotic third grade teacher, Ms. Embry, had given me a brilliant solution to our problem! She had told us during circle time that her sister really hated her boss. Luckily for her and her sister, there were lots of dead rats at her sister's work. So they gathered some dead rats and mailed them to her meany boss. She said it was a great way to get even with people you don't like! (Note my now, very low-expectations of the public school system.) So I told Tina, I had just the way to get back at that meany girl in her class! Unfortunately, at eight and nine years old we were fresh out of access to dead rats. Hmmm, what else could work? We decided dog poop would be an appropriate substitute. So we got a big manila envelope and wrote the meany girl's address on it and then went around the neighborhood collecting crusty, old dog poops out of people's yards. This was going to be great! We didn't want the mail lady to suspect foul play, so after stamping the envelope, we doused it in our favorite, cheap, drugstore perfume 'Verve' and stuffed it in the mailbox and put the flag up and ran! About this time, my dear, intuitive mom noticed the flag was up on our mailbox. Knowing she had not mailed anything that day, she went to investigate. What she found shattered her perception of her sweet, nerdy, four-eyed daughter. Whoops. Tina's mom was called, we were separated, and given a talking to that basically entailed 'Shame, shame, shame on you!' I remember my mom saying "Sarah, imagine how excited that girl would have been to get a package. Then when she opened it to find what you girls put in there, imagine how horrible she would have felt." At that moment, I felt about as big as one of those crusty, old poops. Tina and I learned our lesson and no longer took advice from crazy Ms. Embry, but our adventures continued. Here are just a few old pictures I dug up....
This was Tina's and my first and only dance recital together. Aren't we precious? I got it in my head that Ms. Penny, our instructor, had it out for me and my flat feet. Thus refusing, much to my mother's chagrin, to continue to dance. Tina stuck with it and went on to become a very talented dancer. I went on to become a very talented.... hmmm, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one!
This is us with another little friend of mine playing dress-up. Tina had the BEST dress up trunk! Old costumes and dresses that belonged to her aunts and stuff. We were so very glamorous dahling!
This picture was taken the year before my family moved to Washington. We were at a birthday party for her brother at McDonald's. By the way, if you're thinking about making fun of me and my glasses, I'll tell you the same thing my mother tells me every time I give her grief about letting me leave the house like this, "Sweetie, that was the style. You were adorable." Truly a face only a mother could love.
After I moved to Washington, Tina, like a good friend came out to visit me. This is us in a park in Vancouver doing our 'Old Lady Act'. At least that's what the caption said in the B.F.F. notebook we made up. However, I don't know any old ladies that appear to be quite so nimble and quick.
The next summer, for eighth grade graduation my parents flew me out to Georgia to spend some much needed time with Tina. The Stephanos family, being the fabulous people they are, took us to Disney World! I can tell some things never change. Instead of matching bedrooms, Tina and I are now rocking similar short shorts and converse. Nice.
We also went to Universal Studios, where I was tragically eaten by Jaws. Thus ending this happy tale. Just kidding! Tina and I continued to stay in touch pretty regularly until our last couple years of high school. Understandably we were living separate lives on separate coasts. So I was touched when she, being the good friend she always had been, invited me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. We lost touch for a few years after we both got married as we were busy starting our new lives with our husbands. But we have happily reunited since then and love keeping up on each others adventures! Tina and I are actually both now mothers to a new generation of 'Daring Girls'. Tina and her family, including her daring daughter Hailey, live a very adventurous life in exotic Morocco! They work tirelessly serving the people there with their sense of fun, compassion, and spirituality. I ironically found my way back to the land of my youth, Georgia. Where I have the privilege of raising my own two, daring Georgia Peaches, Maryn and Brynna, in the place that brought me so many happy memories as a young girl. I hope someday our daughters too, can look back and remember a very adventurous girlhood, just like their Mommas!