Reflections

It seems lately, probably because of my expanding belly, I have felt the absolute urgency within me to organize my life and refocus on what really matters to me. My family. I have spent many nights awake, wondering about this new life inside me. Wondering if there is enough of this poor, old, haggard Mom to go around. Wanting to give it everything and more, but wondering if I'm capable. Wondering if I will still be able to be and do enough for my sweet daughters, Maryn and Brynna. I have said it many times before, parenting is a humbling thing. One of the most humbling things I've ever done or ever will do, I'm sure of that. I have felt this worry and anxiety just gnawing at my insides. What if I don't have the answers? Will I let them down? Will they know, despite my mistakes how completely and sincerely I love them? Will they understand that I really am trying?

I have a picture that my dear friend Amber gave me after Maryn was born. I had it framed and it now sits on my dresser. It is a picture of Christ holding an infant and below it it says, "Out of My arms and into yours, I place this spirit into your care. Hold this little one extra close, a part of Heaven lingers there." I love it because it reminds that I am a bearer of one of the most sacred callings on Earth, and that is being a mother. Most days I feel inadequate of being responsible for the rearing of these special spirits that He has given to me. But the thing that brings me the most peace and most comfort is to know that He has not sent me here to do this alone.
This past week He has put people in my way that have brought words of comfort to me or extended an arm of carefree friendship. It is through these things, that He has given me, that my worries have eased and my thoughts have become more clear. My focus has become more sure and more than anything, my knowledge of His love and support for me has become a constant whisper of calm in my ear. I'm just so humbled by His goodness.

I hope some of the quotes brought to me by angels unaware will ring true to you as well.

My friend Marcey had this on her blog and I loved it. Words of our dear, beloved prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, who just passed away a few days ago at the age of 97. I will always love and appreciate his sweet sense of humor and optimism. You could not listen to President Hinckley speak and not feel uplifted and renewed. I'm thankful for his time on this Earth and his service to the Lord...
"I feel the need to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope that you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley


My sweet friend Joice brought me this one when she came to visit me last Friday. I always feel at peace after talking to Joice. She is an amazing woman with wonderful insight...
"I testify that He is the perfect example and leader, not asking us to do what He has not done, not asking us to endure what He has not endured, giving us enough, but not more than we can manage. I thank Him who did everything perfectly, for sharing His precious work with those of us who then do it so imperfectly." -Elder Neal A. Maxwell Dec. 2007 Ensign

Thanks also to Laura and Melysa for our playground chats. It's nice that I'm not alone in everything from balancing the family grocery budget to figuring out what's the best way to deal with the crazy antics of kids. There is power (and sanity) in numbers. I'm blessed to have such wonderful women around me!